SO my tale is very similar to others that I've read on the site. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, married going on 10. I had a job that had me in the public spotlight quite a bit and along with that came a ton of unsolicited attention. Some time after that I opened a bar, against her wishes, and that of course was a disaster. I did the unthinkable and sent some very inappropriate messages to some women on facebook. My wife found those messages and was very upset and hurt by them and rightfully so. We managed to keep it together and for the past 3 years or so it really seemed that things were on the uptick in terms of our marriage. This past December we celebrated her 40th birthday, what an amazing night. Just a couple of days later though things changed, dramatically. She suddenly got very cold and very distant. I tried for a couple of weeks to break through to find out what was wrong but she wouldn't open up to me. I then logged into her facebook account and was made aware of what the problem was. She had begun an affair with another man practically on her birthday. Needless to say I was crushed. She basically said that she had simply been going with the flow for a very long time and that the marriage was over. This news sent me into a tailspin. I can't deal with it. The part that hurts the worst is now knowing how badly I hurt her with the messages that I sent years ago. I don't even care about the other guy if she ends it. I feel horrible and responsible for everything that has happened. I love her so much, my whole world revolves around her and I simply cannot imagine life without her. I have so much shame, embarrassment and regret that I can't function. I hurt the person that means the absolute most to me and now face losing her. We started therapy today and our therapist told her right away that if there is a chance for her and I to move forward together that she needs to end the affair immediately. She seems to be struggling with the decision and I don't know what to do. I guess it's all still pretty fresh. We're at a crossroads in our marriage and there's are no guarantees that we're going to make it. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days by her side.