Russ, I know exactly what you are talking about. I will be at 4 months on the 14th. The last few days have been horrible. At two months it hit me like a ton of bricks and now it is up and down. I went to my best friends daughters graduation party today and had to leave. I just couldn't take it. I sat there and missed Dave so bad that I thought I was going to scream. I guess we have to hang on tight on this roller coaster.

It is a roller coaster ride, I am at 4 mths and I never know from one day to the next how I am going to feel. My grandson was born 6 days after my husband died which breaks my heart, but at the same time this baby helps me so much. There are times I have to blank my mind to get through a day.

Your brain is protecting you, you're right. My thought is that's why so many of us feel numb. I used to say I felt like there was a blanket wrapped around me. Too bad it fell off after a while and I had to face the reality of what I had to deal with.
It probably is good for us, both with and without our blanket. Sending you hope for a better tomorrow. Sharon

I know what you mean, it's like a sneak attack on my emotions.
It will be 4 months on the 12th for me.

roller coaster for sure, im at 5 mth, was able to deal w things for first few months ........... now cant accomplish anything, or so it seems, actually have got a lot done - just seems what once took hours now takes weeks. i dont understand it but does seem to get better at times. roller coaster ....

Not just a roller coaster every week but sometimes every day. And it's amazing how anything can set us off huh?! A picture, a word from somebody, a story that reminds you of your loved one.....you just never know. I actually had one of those days today. My sister and I were cooking for her family and she said to me, "don't you just love cooking big breakfast's for your family?" and then she immediately apologized of course. but that stuck with me and I had my pity party when I got home tonight.
I lost my 20 year old son Johnny Ray 10 months ago and my Husband Tim 8 months ago but it still feels like yesterday.
I'm sorry to say but I don't think it's going to get easier any time soon. But at least we have all of these AMAZING people on this website!
Hugs to you.
Sue

mine is daily.... i never know what i am going to feel day by day, hour by hour....i don't try to figure it all out, i just go with the flow... i tried so hard at the beginning, now i just let it slide on in, don't fight it....so i may laugh or cry, at any time. my emotons want a life of their own, so i gave it to them.....4 months on the 11th....

I've been on that roller coaster for almost 2 yrs now. I am ready to get off.

Been on that same roller coaster for 4 1/2 months now. It makes no sense why I go so far down at times and then right back up again. I tried to brace myself for the times that I know will be hard to get through and then I fly right by those times without incident. Other times when there is nothing to set me off, I fall hard. The downward spiral seems to last for days at a time but I now know that it will end and I will feel better. My belief in God and the after life really helps me to know that I will see my husband again. I think it is a ride that each of us has to go through so the only thing we can do is hang on and hang in there

33 months for me and am still on that rollercoaster. Its better than it was but sure would like to get off it. The ride is real bumpy this week and I am not even sure why! I'm not even sure what set it off this week. I am so glad to have this place to come to! Hugs, Jo

16 months and I'm still on a roller coaster, just in a different way now....living life without my spouse...

I am at 11 weeks. I always hated roller coasters and this is the ultimate one.
I just hate it. I pray all the time for strength to get thru it.
Sometimes I don;t think i will make it.\

Hi Russ. I too know what you're saying. I'll have a little better day and think things are getting better. Then I find another reminder around the house for instance, and feel all major depressed again. If I'm out among others, I'm faking having a good time (the old "fake it till ya make it" - well, lets hope so). Nothing is filling that void. Nothing prepares a person for this long lonely road. Been six weeks for me. Don't think real straight and get forgetful more as well. Blessings to you. Hope you can find some solace.

Roller coaster is the BEST description!!!! Sometimes I'm high and other times I'm low. This is sick but, I read the obituaries everyday and look for people who died that are around my age. My husband was 61 and when I see others a little younger or older, it makes me think of what those families are going through and what's ahead of them. Does anybody else do this or am I just crazy?

Ay dios mio! Esto no es bueno para usted ~
OMG! This is not good for you ~

If you are not doing this intentionally, you will need to seek help from a mental health specialist ~
It could possibly be a serious issue w/dissociation; it should never last that long !

Physically, eleven days of storing grief might start to cause nausea & headaches or worse stomach/intestinal issues ~
Seriously, you need to trigger your grief everyday or so to get the toxins out of your body ~
Everyone wants to be done w/grief & get on w/life, however, the only way is to go through the process to heal yourself ~
Take care of yourself ~