Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Since we all seem to have had the same experiences, we know what widow(er)'s experiences are. There is a common core among us even though we have some different situations.
How can we tell the public:
1. Mention his name to me. To ignore his name is to deny he lived and was iimportant.
2. Remind me of good memories we had together.
3. Losing a spouse is different from losing other loved ones. Loss of a spouse means loss of your life 24/7 as you knew it.
4. CALL ME! A call means you care and right now we feel no one cares (even tho that's not true). You can say you were "thinking of you" or "calling to see how you are" or "Do you need any groceries? I'm on my way to the store."
5. Tell us how our spouse made your life better and happier.
6. Crying does not mean we wish you hadn't said anything. It is helping us release pent up destructive emotions.
7. Don't avoid us.
8. Bring us something (anything). A cutting from a favorite bush, some special bread, a poem, some fruit, etc.
9. Showing up at the funeral is not enough contact with you.
10. Talk about our loved ones and how precious they were in any way that you saw from your vantage point.
I know I missed some, so would like imput. What can we do to let society know they are "doing it all wrong" (the motto from Mr. Mom movie).
Thanks,
Kathleen
How can we tell the public:
1. Mention his name to me. To ignore his name is to deny he lived and was iimportant.
2. Remind me of good memories we had together.
3. Losing a spouse is different from losing other loved ones. Loss of a spouse means loss of your life 24/7 as you knew it.
4. CALL ME! A call means you care and right now we feel no one cares (even tho that's not true). You can say you were "thinking of you" or "calling to see how you are" or "Do you need any groceries? I'm on my way to the store."
5. Tell us how our spouse made your life better and happier.
6. Crying does not mean we wish you hadn't said anything. It is helping us release pent up destructive emotions.
7. Don't avoid us.
8. Bring us something (anything). A cutting from a favorite bush, some special bread, a poem, some fruit, etc.
9. Showing up at the funeral is not enough contact with you.
10. Talk about our loved ones and how precious they were in any way that you saw from your vantage point.
I know I missed some, so would like imput. What can we do to let society know they are "doing it all wrong" (the motto from Mr. Mom movie).
Thanks,
Kathleen
My father suggested I look for a husband. It was on the day of his funeral.
My manicurist asked when I was getting married. It was two months after my husband died.
My coworker told me to start dating again. That I was too young to live by myself. It was three months after my husband died.
You get the idea.