Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Well, we all made it through Thanksgiving in whatever shape we were in. My dysfunctional family had split activities according to whoever was talking to whoever.
My daughter (who is estranged from me since June) invited my sister for Thanksgiving. My daughter has never given my sister a Christmas gift, but she had one for her yesterday. After their dinner, they went over to another relative's house that they had not ever visited before.
My son, DIL, GS and I ate a wonderful meal at the church where over 600 meals were served and we had a wonderful time, but 4 is a small family gathering. After dinner I came home alone for the rest of the day.
My daughter did not speak to me yesterday, her brother and she did not speak. My sister spent time with me yesterday as well as my son and family.
Relatives who never got together before got together yesterday.
Is my family the only dysfunctional one? There are hurt feelings all around and it seems my daughter does things she knows will hurt me. Like giving my sister a gift when she never has before. I'm OK with it, although sad that my daughter to whom I've given so much in time, effort, and money can treat me like I don't exist. But being without her in my life, although sad, is much more peaceful. Weird family........
My daughter (who is estranged from me since June) invited my sister for Thanksgiving. My daughter has never given my sister a Christmas gift, but she had one for her yesterday. After their dinner, they went over to another relative's house that they had not ever visited before.
My son, DIL, GS and I ate a wonderful meal at the church where over 600 meals were served and we had a wonderful time, but 4 is a small family gathering. After dinner I came home alone for the rest of the day.
My daughter did not speak to me yesterday, her brother and she did not speak. My sister spent time with me yesterday as well as my son and family.
Relatives who never got together before got together yesterday.
Is my family the only dysfunctional one? There are hurt feelings all around and it seems my daughter does things she knows will hurt me. Like giving my sister a gift when she never has before. I'm OK with it, although sad that my daughter to whom I've given so much in time, effort, and money can treat me like I don't exist. But being without her in my life, although sad, is much more peaceful. Weird family........
The family I have near me---my son, daughter ,SIL, and grand kids are fantastic and I am grateful for them. We can do the get togethers with ease and comfort. This Thanksgiving though I just wanted to not do any of that even----so I worked the holiday, had potluck at work with my co-worker friends and then shed my tears of missing my husband on the way home from work.
My siblings/Mom I love also, but it seems like family to family visits go so much better than big group ones. Everyone seems to have their "role" and it's just easier for me to stay here hours away from the big family gathering.
I am so sorry for the hurt you are having with your daughter. I hope it can be healed, but most of all I wish you peace.
Hugs to you,
Sallie
But I see and hear about things going on between them, and I wonder what will happen. It's true...friends are the family you choose...but families should be forever.
I have done the best I could--and in fact I have written a letter, to be opened after my own death, in which almost my last words are "Love each other, take care of each other, and remember how we loved you all." I can only hope they will.
Prayers for healing for all of us...