I understand. I still have all my husband's stuff. I'm having trouble making changes around the house. Bought a new bedspread but can't use it. Have a bag of oyster rackers -- last thing my husband ever bought. I don't eat gluten but I just can't part with them. I'm going to have to sell our house and leaving is going to be tough. I know this is a process and I hope I'm far enough along by then to handle it well. And yes, your grandson s just precious!

I can't afford our home in the long term after losing my husband's income. I too will need to sell our home. It will be difficult to give up most things, down size from 4000 sq ft to 500 sq ft. He bought me was a set of heavy mosaic outdoor furniture in Feb. It would be sad to give it up knowing that he bought it just for me. The last thing he bought me was a painted glass bottle and he was planning to check out a musical instrument for me during his business trip but he died two days before coming home. The present came home before his remain. I can't help but cry as I am writing this.

At the time of my husband's death our youngest grand child was 5. We now have another granddaughter who is 8 months old. But anyway, Jace remember Grandpa very well, and asks questions and has many memories of him. They were very bonded together. We all talk about Grandpa very naturally. I told my 4 grand kids after Grandpa died they could ask me anything or say anything and never to worry about me crying. I would cry, laugh and everything in between. Grand kids are the very best----they're so real, and sweet, and loving.

It has been 2 years now and many of Stan's clothes have gone to my son-in-law and son and a few things to my daughter---some to donations. I have a few items I will always keep. It's all in our own time.

Many Hugs to you, Sallie

It has taken several months, but I have pretty much cleaned out all of Darrell's clothing. Today, I worked on dish sets, etc. that he brought with him when we were married and he moved into my house. The garage is full of stuff that belonged to his mother, first wife (who died) and grandmother - tea sets, knickknacks, etc. - 9 boxes +. I cannot afford to send everything to his children/grandchildren, although I had them pick out/asked them what they wanted earlier on and sent those things to them. I brought it all to an auction house and, after its all sold, I will probably split the amount of the selling prices and send half to his son and half to his daughter. I just needed to clear out the garage and house closets, so, when I die, my daughter will not have to do it.

It felt good to clean everything out, but it certainly took me a while to decide to do it. You will finish doing it when you're ready, just like you have already done with some of it.

Just think of it as spring cleaning. You will keep many things that remind you of your honey, but you don't have to keep it all. And, I don't think we ever will forget them. Darrell is branded on my heart and that's just the way I like it.

Hugs,
Terry

We moved in March because of Randy not being able to work anymore and we had lived on his job site for 23 years. So we went through and threw out A Lot of things. But there are 6 or 7 boxes that are still packed in our storeroom. I want to go through them and think I am about ready to start. He packed the boxes. As far as his clothes...not yet. That is off limits until later....maybe much later. I did give his robe to our 25 yr old because she could not spend as much time as she wanted to with him and I felt like she needed to feel like she was wrapped in his arms. The other kids were ok with that. Everything else is right where he left it. Two 1/2 eaten boxes of cereal that he ate....still in the cabinet. Stale, I am sure but I can't throw them out yet.
Our grandson Hunter, is three years old. From the day he was born....he was Papa's Punkn' Head. The other grandbabies (15 others of which 14 are girls) loved sleeping on grandma. But Hunter liked Papa's flat chest. He misses Papa so much. I am saving Randy's fishing pole and some pics of him fishing for Hunter when he gets older. Randy adored all the grandchidren, but Hunter pulled his heart strings. There was a special bond there.

There is no time frame for clearing things out--some things are easier than others--each piece brings a different feeling--sadness, emptiness, and even sometimes renewal. We each part with things as we can and as circumstance dictates. Your grandson's remark brings a chuckle as well as a smile and even a tear--they are so very precious. Steve was very close to our grandchildren--one in particular--and she talks about him all the time--she was six when he passed and she spent most of the evening of the viewing standing at his casket staring at him--she touched him, she talked to him, and she just watched him in silence, trying to absorb that he was gone. She is the one who wants to talk about him--the others worry that it will upset me--she knows she can talk about him--and she does--and she knows he's watching over us. They are so precious.

I cleared most of Cliff's clothes and donated them to Goodwill about 6 weeks after he died. I kept the last things he wore and his old funky bathrobe because they were the only things that still had his scent on them. I used to wrap myself up in his robe to sleep and imagine it was him holding me. We all do what we have to...

My sister took me to Goodwill, and thank goodness she was there. I broke down after I dropped everything off. It was hard, real hard.

Since that time, I have had to sell or get rid of a ton of stuff. One of the best pieces of advice I received here was to photograph anything that had sentimental value before selling it or giving it away. Even if you wind up in a smaller place, you still have the photos to go with the memories. I have moved to England, and could not bring a lot with me, so the photos have been very helpful for me.

Hope this helps.... and yes your grandson sounds precious. :)

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Thank you all for sharing your wonderful comments and advise. I have started taking pictures of the flowers my husband planted for keepsake, When the time comes to sell the house, I will have them for memories. I just have not thought of taking pictures of his things. Thanks for the suggestion. I have given away his car and new clothes to his brother. I was really surprise that my old daughter did not want anything and she said she will not go to the cemetary if I put him in the niche that we picked out together. She did not put out any picture of her dad or us together. I know she loves her dad very much and she tries to look after me by offerring me to stay with them. My younger daughter on the other hand wears his wedding ring and express her wish to have our love letters when I pass away some day.

Silverfox - it took me many times, over the past few years, to go through Joe's stuff. Some, I gave away immediately (clothes, mostly). Just last year, I cleared out some more clothes, and like Martha, took them to Goodwill, and didn't even clear the driveway before I was sobbing. Re your kids - this is kind of funny/embarrassing - when we had the memorial, 3 months after Joe died, both stepkids and our niece were here with me. I hauled down 2 boxes of pictures, cards - and they're all going through them, exclaiming, talking, we're laughing and sighing. And then my stepson is like, uh, Marsha, you may want to put these somewhere...some questionable, ie, semi naked pics from our honeymoon. I'm like, what?? "Not to worry!", he says - after pic #10. At that point, I just mentally put my hands up and thought, oh well. My stepson's 40. I don't think it made hair grow on his palms, lol. At this point, nothing I do will surprise them.

Marsha, I love your honesty! I spent time movind Dons clothes from drawer to different drawers or boxes and back to drawers. One evening as I sat cross legged on the floor going through this ritual my son and daughter came in and helped me. They found a pink feather in a box with irridescent powder. There was nothing for me to say! We laughed and I was thankful they were adults and asked no questions!

Silverfox, See what you started!! LOL Sharon

Before our marriage, my husband and I lived in different countries so we wrote to each other. My daughter loved to read and laughed at our mushy letters. It's been fun reading all you posts. LOL.

There are so many really poor folk in this country, it was good to be able to give things away to bring more comfort to their lives - my partner was ALWAYS giving her stuff away. One Winter, I found she had given both her coats away - "Hey, the bible says if you have two coats give one away!" I protested. "Well, there were two cold people." she shrugged, amazed that I could be so illogical.

Barbarame, my mother was one of those people who would give away the only thing she had to help others. In fact it was because of her good deed to help someone in desperate needs, this person eventually repaid her by helping to save our whole family from harms way.