So sorry for your loss. My husband died almost 6 months ago. I'm not sure I would say it gets better but it does get easier. It changes. The all consuming, crushing grief slowly lifts but is replaced by an empty hole. You'll smile, you'll laugh but it's just not the same. We are forever changed by the journey we're on. So come here often. You won't feel as alone or crazy as you probably do right now. Hugs to you. Liz

Thank you all for the wonderful, heartfelt, and honest replies. Thank you for allowing me into your group, and to feel like I can vent without judgement. I too am here for each and everyone of you if you ever want to talk. Thank you all once again.

I understand completely. My husband passed away at the end of October at the age of 50. We were married 24 years. I think I was in a state of shock the first month. Plus I have 2 teenage boys and I went straight into survival mode. Now that the holidays are over, I'm feeling this intense sadness. In the past I always looked forward to the new year but not this year.

I just keep telling myself that it will get easier.

Cathy

We are sort of in the same boat. I lost Jay on November 20th. I have to think it gets better. It just has to. One moment at a time. One task at a time. We are going to find our new way. Not the way we wanted or expected, but I really think we will.

Not sure if it's getting better or worse. I'm at 2 1/2 months and I'm getting bouts of real anger. Maybe some numbness wearing off...I don't know...Married for 21 years and had all the plans for the future...56 is too young to go...Tired of being the 5th wheel at any gathering...I yell at my wife a lot...she told me everything would be ok a week before she passed...wtf......

Moodybruin36, that is exactly how I feel. I don't know where I fit in anymore. We always were with other couples, and now I am the 5th wheel. It is so strange to feel like you don't fit in anymore.

Lori, Feb 10th will be our 35 anniversary and he (Brownie) nick name will be gone 4 months Feb 3rd. My heart aches everyday and I cry so much my eyes hurt. Fighting COPD makes it worse. I feel bad physically most of the time. Life for me seems so hard now. I keep his coat hanging on the banister where he left it. I smell it everyday and wish so hard for God to bring him back. I know that won't happen I just wish it would. His death was sudden and I had to disconnect him from life support. I lay with my head on his chest to hear his heartbeat for the last time. After 5 beats he was gone. I'm trying so hard to go on. I have 4 kids and 10 g/kids. One in Hawaii and I am in Va. Two in Va with kids and busy lives. They try to help as much as they can but the loneliness is horrible. I had him cremated and here with me. I couldn't let him go. I speak to him daily. It somehow helps me. I like you pray for it to get better. I'm trying. You have to try to. My heart goes out to you. I know your feelings to well. Linda

At two months everything is still so raw it seems it will never...could never be 'better'. I am almost to 19 months and better is not the word I would use....I have adjusted to this life...I am learning to deal with the loss differently...I am giving myself permission to laugh and try to enjoy what is...not that I don't miss my husband because I do and I would love for him to be here with me....but that cannot happen. So, for me, until the day I am called home to heaven and get to see my love again, I have to choose to make the best of this life. It is a choice and one that is not a one and done decision as the loss does not go away.

For now, feel whatever you feel, be patient with yourself and do not think about 'better'. I think 'different', 'less raw pain' will come in time. Big hugs to you...so very sorry for your loss.

raw feels like an understatement..3 days and it will be 2 months for me..I felt like i was doing "ok" last week, but this week, i feel like i'm dying i miss my wife so much..