Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 10/07/2011

Does this mean I have come long ways?

First my handyman came over finally to put the duct work under my house on, its been getting frightfully cold lately. He turned off my water as my hose to the icemaker was leaking so he could fix it once duct work done. BUT when he turned it back on NO WATER to my house. Messed with the faucet some water came out so we thought it was fixed. NOPE - next morning he traced things top and bottom: relay switches to pressure tank were bad. SO get those parts yesterday meantime my stove top quit working: brand new ~1 1/2 yrs old or less. Panel lights up not burners.
SO I am figuring what ever we did turning the power off and on blew something - makes sense to me right?

Got ahold of him last eve - no water no stove - SO OK I can handle that overnight. Turns out it is believed its the breakbox switch to it that went bad because I get electricity in 110 not 220 watts. SO into town, no such part in this town - finally after 3 places found one - so got two.

AND than went to bank to deposit monies from sell of my flat bed. NOT IN PURSE - panic....where is it.

Got few groceries hitailed it home - found monies put aside in letter holder (NOW I remember going to function did not want that much money in purse)BUT before I found it I was sickly panicked. SO I SAID OK GOD look at me, you need to show me right now where it is I so need it - went right to it.

Sat down had a good cry - and felt better as things are going to be all right - and nothing expensively hard to fix yet. BUT honestly why are things little by little one by one going wrong just like last winter -
DANG it stop it...

BUT I do feel ok, I feel not so dispaired like I felt this spring and not so overwhelmed.

edithbathgate 10/07/2011

I'm glad it all eorked out. That was a lot to go through! Seems to me that when we quit whirling and call on God for help, He come through one way or another. I'm so glad you're okay!

deleted_user 10/07/2011

Wow, it truly sounds to me like you are growing stronger and have truly come a long way. How wonderful that you were able to deal with it and not be overwhelmed. I admire your strength.

cleodoggie 10/07/2011

I used ti get all riled up when those things happened. Now I take a step back and try to figure out my next move.. I have always found things come in three's and when they don't I am surprised. I have had that kind of week too but in the end it all works out one way or another.

deleted_user 10/07/2011

My husband and I had a cabin rental business when he had a massive heart attack and died suddenly. The business was open 365 days a year...I took care of the guests/reservations/etc and he was the guy who made sure everything was in proper working condition. Overnight I became the handyman/plumber/electrician/etc by default. I felt like "if something could be broken, it was." Sometimes I even amazed myself. I was so busy I didn't even have time to grieve, and somedays I was incredibly "scattered!" I remember looking for a key...I had been looking for it for 2 days...on day three, amongst all the other things I had to get done, I crumbled, looked up and started screaming at him to help me with this SIMPLE matter. After an hour of my mini breakdown a sense of calm came over me and I walked right to that stupid key. I knew he and God were still with me.

I sold the business 8 months later because it was just more than I could do alone. Its been two years for me and now when something goes wrong I can either laugh, cry, or better yet be grateful that I am able to be the "handyman."

I promise you.. the day will come when you can laugh about everything falling apart, because it won't be you that is falling apart.

Hugs to you!

marjoe 10/07/2011

Answering your question? Yes, it does mean you've come a long way, sister.

deleted_user 10/07/2011

You have come a LONG WAY BABY!!!! and you should should stand back t ake a look at yourself, and be PROUD!!!!

I SURE AM!!! Way to go Nicker!!! Way to go!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs!

Diane

deleted_user 10/07/2011

I still get frustrated when things quit working that my husband was able to fix. I miss him so at those times. Recently, I had lamp that the switch shorted out on. I bought a new switch thinking that I could change it out. It's different inside than the other one and I don't know what to do. I have to wait for my son-law to fix it. It's hard to have to find someone else to do things that I relied on him to do.

It sounds like you actually managed pretty well. Sure the tears came, but you coped and got through it. That's the important thing.

missmybrucie 10/07/2011

I used to help with everything big and small with my husband. We did a lot of home projects together so,... our sewer pump went out, water backing up in the basement, daughter right away went for the yellow pages to look up a plumber. I stopped her and ran to Menards, picked up a new pump. Brother inlaw installed it the next day for me but I was so proud of me to know what kind of pump to purchase and by helping and watching my brother in law put in a new one I think I can do by myself next time.
It made me feel stronger (Far from Healed) but a little stronger.

Shrn 10/07/2011

Yes, you have come a long way. Life goes on and you are dealing with all phases of life. Congratulations. Sharon :)

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