Sandy if this is happening just since you lost your husband I doubt it"s abnormal or something to be concerned about. I read that absentmindedness happens while your mind is spinning with the grief. I myself left work with my workbag there on a Friday and didn't realize til I was driving back on Mon. that I didn't have my gatepass with me. I don't even remember leaving it behind. All very unlike me. Also the death fatigue you are describing I was in quite a while, only doing what I absolutely had to do. Doing my taxes as I said before on here was as grueling as I thpught it would be. But our thinking through things and feeling through things lightens our mood sooner or later. Or else how could we live like this???

yes, it is normal. there is even a name for effects on the mind called "widows fog". Grief is also very draining physically, so we can always feel exhausted. then when we do have energy to accomplish things we bottom out quickly. We need to adjust our "To-do lists" accordingly, but it is challenging, at best. Of course, we are unique individuals and so you will be learning how to pace yourself about juggling between internal resources. For instance, a day of deep grief, crying uses energy reserves so it can cost our ability to Work and/or Think as well afterwards.
It is best to stay on top of wellness checkups with your Drs, since the possibility always is that you could have physical imbalances in addition to grief. (what fun), eh?
As for myself, I felt like I was losing my mind but since I read articles about widows fog, I blamed it all on that. Turned out that I was severely ill. It affected my brain, worsening more & more as time went on. (my journal entries here from 2015 - 2016 include info. It was Hell.) but even common issues such as thyroid, other hormones etc. are best to get checked.
Anything you can improve about your health, and general self-care, is best tackled at the top of your List now.
B.
I am 2 yrs & 2+ months into

I think it is totally normal. Truthfully, I think it takes a while just for the shock to wear off. My spouse passed in April and I am only now BARELY starting to feel somewhat "normal" in between bouts of emotion and numbness. I haven't been terribly forgetful, that I have noticed, not much more than usual, except I have had to set alarms in my phone for several things, including a reminder just to eat something. (Shrug) I think what you are feeling probably just goes with the territory you are traveling through, honestly. Worse for me is chores. Why am I doing them? Who am I doing them for? What does it matter if I haven't done laundry in 3 weeks, or swept the bedroom since my DH died? Nobody is sleeping in there anyway. Never have been the fondest of chores though. But even some things I used to enjoy, I don't find very interesting any more.

Forgetting things and confusion are definitely part of the widow fog. I keep a pad of paper near me to write things I might just even be thinking about doing or things I need because sometimes not even a few minutes later do I remember what I was even thinking about. I also dedicated a special spot for important paper work even though I have misplaced a few items. The sleeplessness also is not helping our brains. Hope you find something that will help you.

I don't really have a problem sleeping, it's just forgetting. I have never heard of widow's fog. I'm in a fog alright. I suppose it will get better some day soon I hope.

My Anne past July 13th 2016. I took 2 weeks of work off after. When I came back my head wasn't in it. I've been doing the same job for close to 40 years. I made mistakes a rookie in my job should never make. Today I screwed up. 11 months later. I should have never made the mistake I did today. But I did. Wasn't a big deal easily fixed by another employee. But I made the mistake. It's my fault. We all have to get back in the game. Whatever it takes. Life does go on.

Normal in normal life? No. Normal in grief? Yes. My brain turned to mush in a hurry. Always was a Mr. Maggoo type myself. But two years into this and I continue to amaze even myself with the shortest short term memory possible. Even mid-sentences I can forget what I was saying. Any shorter, and I'd have no memory at all. Comical really. Drove right past the two interstate exits to my town yesterday while talking on the phone. Ten miles out of town, I ended the call thinking I was getting close. And I keep losing things I had in my hands only moments earlier. Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself. At least for me, I find myself to be good comic relief at times. A wealth of laughter at my expense if I just don't worry about it. This to shall pass. Or maybe not. Dang, forgot what I wanted to say, so I'd better end this now :) Take care. You're normal. Grief does unbelievable weird things to us. Our minds can't handle the shock of it all is all. Takes lots of time for our minds to process what has happened is all. Good thing I like Swiss Cheese! ~~~ Scottie

I lost my husband suddenly in early May, and some of the shock and adrenaline has worn off, but I'm still "in the fog" much of the time. I hear you on the mental and physical energy, or lack thereof! I think I get emotionally drained even more quickly than I get tired physically.
I've been told that it takes 90% of our energy to grieve, leaving only 10% to deal with everything else. So that is helping me to understand why my brain is mushy...tough remembering the subject of a recent conversation, who it was with, or the first half of a sentence mid-stream!
I think the advice offered above, to take care of YOU first, is right on, and if you need to sit on the couch and rest, go with it, don't fight it.
This is a long journey we are on, and I guess I'm just getting my feet wet at this point?!!

Problem with me is I used to have a photogenic memory. I could just look at something and remember it. Now I can't remember anything. It's very frustrating. Since moving to a new place I need to find out where things are. I have actually gone by the bank three times. I have a meeting to got to on Thursdays. I have yet to be on time because I can't find the place. I watch my little 2 year old most days while her parents work. I'm afraid she watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse a lot cause I just don't have the energy to chase her around.

Happened to me.
The first few months, getting to work was about all I could do. I describe those days as having a train on my chest.

Later I described the feeling as a person wondering around in a field much like a news reel of a train or plane accident when the survivors wonder around.

Now at 3.5 years there are still plenty of times when decisions that we used to make are now just made by me and so the pain of her absence is there in the decision making process making it harder to focus and harder to feel confident that I am making good decisions.

Yes! I feel like this a lot. So great to hear the name for what is happening.

My husband died suddenly in March. Yes, I tell people my brain is fuzz when they want me to make a decision I can't seem to wrap my head around. I would imagine this is normal. Your brain is busy trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense. I worked for 2 hours for the first time 3 weeks ago doing some filing at a friend's business. At the beginning I could hardly do anything, but last week I was getting into it. Also I have found that if I don't eat, I will get really bad, so make sure to eat and keep up your strength as best you can.

My husband died of A L S, Lou Gerrihgs disease on May 18, 2017. I have so many mixed feelings don't know where to start. I'm a bit of a mess.

Your post struck me and my heart goes out to you. You are describing grief, as you probably already know. Keep persevering!

A few things helped me through grief. Although I have not been through the death of a spouse, I have experienced divorce and finding out that my ex-husband was having an affair. The symptoms you described were very similar.
Support groups like Grief Share, allowing myself to cry, seeing a Christian counselor, and talking with loving family and friends helped. Praying for you to have relief!!

Yes I know how you feel so your not alone I lost my wife in May and I have done NOTHING and as much as people and family have tried to help I can't take that first step. I have never been one to lay around or feel sorry for myself but this is something else and its hopefully something we can move past. God Bless and good luck