I look at it this way...why not give it a try? How about trying group therapy at your local church or Hospice? The feelings that you are describing at ten weeks is very normal if there is anything normal about the grieving process. Also I am at 7 months and at times I still have those feelings. There is nothing easy about grieving. As I read that the Roman philosopher Cicero said "Let mourning stop when your grief is fully expressed." For all of us that will be different. Peace....Colleen

On this site we are just regular people without professional training and its not our job to help you get better. We may offer suggestions on how we handled such and such and it may be useful to you. But therapy is different.

If you work with a therapist you set goals for what you want to accomplish, and they help you get there. You may have a goal of being able to be around other people again - the therapist can help change so you can do that. They have training and insight into how people think and behave that can be very useful. There is security in talking to a therapist because you can talk about anything and everything with them and it stays private.

-- Yeah, my wife was a therapist and I know that she was able to help a lot of people through a lot of problems more difficult than what we are going through --

Bob

I found individual therapy a godsend. The first thing my therapist said to me was "you don't have to be a rock in this room." His/her job is to listen, to guide, to gently point out thoughts and feelings. In that respect, I was very glad I went (for a year). It doesn't "help" the grief, in that you still need to go through all the emotions. But it helps. Hugs, Marsha

I went to therapy for only 3 or 4 months a year after my husband passed away. I found it very helpful personally. She helped me put a few things in perspective and helped me understand why I was struggling with a few things. My therapist is leaving the area in a few weeks but I don't really feel the need to find another one at this time. I think she gave me the tools to be able to continue on with life.

I found individual counseling helpful...more so than group grief support. An objective person who is not is the throws of the same pain proved to be helpful.

I have my first appt Mon for individual therapy. I think anything a group could do, this site does better, since I can choose my times and talk or listen in my nightgown or while I am running reports at work.

I have started three times to say what I hope to get out of individual therapy and erased all three. So I don't know what I need, but I know I need something.

Therapy was my private place to scream and cry - where I didn't have to hide my feelings, could talk about things that were so private that I did not want to talk about them with friends or family, and even here. I recommend it, quite honestly, and both my sons had therapy as well which really helped them process the range of emotions they went through, too.

There is no one, single thing that gets you through this. I need to emphasize this; what you have experienced is the equivalent of a major disaster, just a personal one - it's like an emotional hurricane that rips through every facet of your life. One single tool will be a cure-all and help you rebuild, but having a variety of tools makes a huge difference. Therapy can be a vital tool in this situation.

It is also not a forever thing. You only have to go as long as you feel it is of benefit to you.

I received my grief counseling for free through an Employee Assistance Program at work. My older son received it from the same program for free, and my younger son received his through the school psychologist and school guidance counselor, so his was free as well.

Try it for 3 sessions, and then evaluate how you feel about it. I think you will find it will help. I did.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Sorry - typo - meant to say 'one single thing will NOT be a cure-all..."

You might be surprised at what can come of counseling..............it is worth a try.........I believe, though, at 10 weeks what you are feeling is something I also felt..............worth an effort.........hugs.....Lori

What you get out of therapy will depend on the quality of the counselor you get and your willingness to participate I suppose.
I desperately wanted some kind of help but don't have any benefits or funds to pay and all the free or minimal cost options were not available for months down the road, so out of desperation I ended up here. And am thankful I did,
While we all get it and care and want you to feel supported and to have better days, professionals will have concrete ideas on how to get there. Many people here have been generous enough to bring back things from their therapists to share with us. I think that's a common thread, if we find something that helps even a little, we are eager to share it with our fellow travelers on the trail of tears.
I hope you try it and will let us know how it goes. Good luck! ((()))

Does therapy help. I would have to answer with a big YES. But as others have mentioned not all therapists are great. You have to find one that you are comfortable with and meets your needs. I dont think we should say eithier or when it comes to individual therapy vs support groups vs DS. I gained insight from all 3 and utilized all 3.
I do know this journey is to difficult to walk alone. You are still very very early in the grief journey when everything is so raw and painful.
At that stage I had a therapist tell me I wasnt going crazy when my emotions were like a rollercoaster and that is exactly what I needed to hear. All utilized every resource available to me to get me through the most incredibly painful journey of my life. I am still working through the grief but 18 months later I am in a much better place. I am truly truly sorry for your pain. Sending you a big hug. God bless. Gerald

I'm trying it tomorrow and will let you know how it goes. I have decided to try it as a way of trying to sort through things without being concerned about the effect on my listener ie. their feelings or whether I fall apart as I do often and unexpectedly.
I hope you find something/ someone that helps a little. I have all those symptoms too and it really sucks.
Best wishes
Sandy

Hello,
Therapy was a real benefit for me after the loss of my husband. I was fortunate to find someone that I felt comfortable with, and she helped me to understand why I felt the way I did and why I reacted as I did. Simply understanding was a good first step. Then she guided me with tools to employ in my new daily solo life. The individual attention and her guidance helped a lot. I recommend it highly over any kind of meds.
It may be side effects of meds that are giving you those symptoms you mentioned. I had the same for the brief time I took something.
Good luck and peace to you as you continue on your path.
Gloria

Well I went and it was useful. Sadly she didn't have a magic wand but it was nice to hear someone say I'm doing ok (even if she was being paid to do it :) )
The other and probably bigger benefit was being able to talk about the upsetting and worrying stuff that I have been keeping to myself not wanting to distress family or friends (or talk about in a group). I threw the lot at her and while she didn't / couldn't solve my problems, she did help put things into perspective and remind me that I don't have to be responsible for everyone else and can choose whether and how I respond to others. And she ignored my tears so we could just keep talking.
After an absolutely horrible weekend where I constantly felt ill, couldn't even answer the phone and cried right through church, this was a major relief and helped relieve the pressure. I was able to focus on work for the rest of the day. And cooked dinner tonight.
I will go again next week.
My rating: better than a good cry

Sandy,

Well I would say that your first session was a smashing success.

You did not know it, but her only goal out of that first session was to establish a rapport with you. She can only help you if you are comfortable with her enough to trust her counsel.

Also, do not think that because she is being paid that her comments will be less than truthful. Her job is to give you the tools and perspective to work your way on your own. She can not do that if you don't trust her.

How much you get out of therapy will depend on how much effort you put into using the tools she will help you with. It's good that you have some specific things you want to work on.

It sounds like you found a good therapist and I hope she will guide you successfully to navigate this difficult period for you :)

Bob