So true. Love and loss are pretty universal with losing a spouse. Hard is a very deceptive term. It does not nearly express it, but then again, it is the easiest thing to say. Silence speaks louder than words ever could in that situation. What can be expressed with a look from someone who really understands is amazing

((((HUGS))))
Karl

Very well said - an hour, a day, 5 years or a life time, it doesn't matter.

Such a shared experience of incredibly deep pain and sadness requires no words and just being close to someone that understands can bring such comfort.

Gentle ((hugs)) Patricia

Isn't it interesting that we recognize each other, like strangers in a strange land? Even though I didn't ask the question, I met a lady in church on Sunday, and I "knew" she was one of us...

As I took my seat in Church Sunday I stepped past a lady in a hat. She was saving two other seats. When the service started I glanced to my left and there we sat, four of us ladies, all about the same age, all of us alone and I did wonder, had this feeling, that we were all in loss. There is just something in the eyes that can't be disguised.

Tru,

The unmistakable look of sorrow from a loss needs no additional description. It is evident in all aspects of our lives, physical and emotional. The desire to survive emerges after a time, and we begin to remember how to smile and laugh. Until then, it is painful to look into the eyes of grief. I'm glad you were able to reach out to her and you both shared a moment. Blessings to you. TJ

Isn't it funny how we have this look about us now. So much so that we can recognize one of our own.

I know. It's like we're a secret Masonic society, or something. Except (for me at least), when someone tells me "it happened to me, too,", you know what happens? A hand reaches out to clench mine. It happened today. A widow 22 years out.

that is beautiful...once while i was at work, a dear sweet little olde lady came to me and started chatting...something in me drew me to her, and i too, confided that i had just lost my honey...she was so sweet, she held my hand, and said its hard i know...if i could have wrapped my arms around her and hugged her i would have,..it just warmed me to my soul...she was precious

In church we have a row set aside for widows. They call it Widow Row. I just can't or won't sit there. But I feel the love coming from those widows at times. I know that it a secret society, and that we share a bond that nobody else does. It is sacred to me. I sometimes feel pity though, and I hate that. Hugs~Shelley

Thinking about the woman in town who runs the video shop...everyone just calls her "Mom"...she had lost Carl (her husband) a few years back. She knew Bill and I pretty well. We called her Mom too.

When I stopped by the store a few months after his death...we didn't really say anything (which is good...because otherwise I would have just broken down right there) she just quietly took both of my hands in hers and our eyes met.

Sometimes there just aren't words.

(((hugs)))
Carla

I met a woman today who just moved into the apt complex. She is also alone here, having lost her husband 13 years ago.
We both agreed that it is hard no matter how long it have been.
We are indeed in a special club that none of us really wants to be in. Judith

Yes, indeed, a secret society that I'd prefer not to be a member of.
My sister lost her husband 9 years ago. I helped her then, and she always remembered that. When my partner passed away, she and I became even closer, with an understanding that comes from being a part of that society. She has helped me more than you can imagine, because of that cognizance. A blessing for me is that she will listen to me talk on and on about him, which I need to do, and I do the same for her, as I adored her husband. But I realize that, until I was widowed, I really did not entirely understand what she went through. The loss of a soulmate. Now that I "get it", we are on whole new journey together.