Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Does it ever get easier?

Nancyjo
Nancyjo

I lost my husband of 22 years last year. I am finding that it is hitting me harder as time goes by. I don't think I have actually mourned fully as of yet. I have been dealing with my own health issues for the last 5 years, so when he passed I was working on selling my home and all of the  paperwork involved after someone passes. I sold my home, moved in with my sister and now that I m settled in, It is all starting to hit me. 

SurvivorShelby
SurvivorShelby
I am new too. I lost my husband of nearly 35 yrs. on August 1, 2016.
All I can say, is hold on! Let time be your friend. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. Baby steps. Little victories!
Hour by hour, then day by day, then week by week...
Take extra care of yourself!
My personal faith is what sustains me throughout.
God Bless!
Nancyjo
Nancyjo
Thank you.
letmehelpyou
letmehelpyou
Nancyjo, Yes, it does get easier, with time, a lot grieving and really hard work. It takes time to assimilate the loss, then it takes more time to figure out who you want the "me" to be after the "we". and then quite frankly, it takes a lot of effort and work to become the "me". For me, now at almost 6 years, I have finally assimilated the loss and grief into my life. I will always wish I had more time with J.R. but I am content and truly happy in my life and proud of the person I became by choice.

Give it time, be gentle with yourself, allow yourself to grieve, it sounds like you have had too much on your plate to do that.

Hugs,
Val
Nancyjo
Nancyjo
Thank you so much Val. I do have alot on my plate, but I am trying to take it one bite at a time. It is hard to talk to my friends as they have not experienced this, and I truly hope that won't have to.
shelda
shelda
I have two Aunts who know the feeling of losing a husband they are both 23 and 10 years older then me...they understand..I count my blessings everyday and try and work on my Gratitude Daily and now i am making plans to move into my own place by myself and get a job...and literally start a new life. Never lived on my own i am 60 and was mainly a stay at home Mom with lots of kids...then had to get working so started a small company..husband got sick...then death this past March. We had to spend our RRSPS to survive..oh well least i can still work :) I am making plans....it takes time to even think.