Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Do you ever recover?

Truhal
Truhal
My father is a widower. My mother passed eleven years ago. They'd been together nearly 60 years. He's still struggling to get through the days. Now my odyssey has started. My husband died less than a week ago. I've never been so meserable in my life. I truly thought the hardest thing was losing my mother. We were close, almost like sister. If you saw my mother then you saw me. But my husband, the man that I've known for the past nineteen years. It's knock the breath out of me. I feel a physical pain in my stomach and chest, like something has been taken out. Cut out. It's hard to go on and I envy my husband. He's in heaven and I'm in what feels like hell.

There's no end in sight if what I'm reading is true.

Does that mean I've got to go my entire life in misery? Will I ever feel good, smile, laugh, without the tears behind it? If I weren't a beliver I'd be joining my husband about now.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tskks, I am asking your permission to save your reply - I would like to put it on my mirror. It really reached me. It's so profound and so full of hope and a wonderful guide to the direction I would like to be able to move on in when I finally can. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.

Hugs, Gail
tskks
tskks
No,thank you! It means so much to me if anything I said brought you a little hope and provided food for thought. I would be honoured
if you wanted to save my reply. God Bless
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry. Before I found DS I felt like I was the only one that felt like I had been turned inside out and left that way. I struggled to express myself in a way where other people could understand me which only made my pain all that much deeper. I learned to lean into God and pour my heart out to him eventually but in the beginning I was in so much pain all I could do was sing. I sang every day all day long if they let me for a year and a half and pray in tongues. I even lacked the words to pray as I thought I should. Some amazing things happened in that year and a half without me even raising a fingure and all I can do is give God the glory. But I'll never forget when this song came out on the radio:


Title: Broken by Lighthouse
to listen click on link: http://www.jango.com/music/Lifehouse?l=0

Lyrics:

I am falling apart; I am barely Breathing
With a Broken heart thats still beating
In the pain there is healing
In hyour name I find meaning
So I am holdin on I am holdin on; I am holdin on
I am barely holdin on to U
I am hagin on another day
Just to see what U will throw my way
And I am hanging on to the words u say
You said that I will be ok
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now; havent forgotten my way home

This seemed to me to be a message from God that He heard me and saw my pain and understood. I hope it ministers to you as much as it has to me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It does get easier. It will never be the same. You are forever changed. The very fact that you are alive means there is more for you out there. Your reason and purpose for being here on this earth is not done yet. Don't give up. You will survive. The question is will you sieze the day and choose to live it to the fullest or live in the past? I pray you choose to live it to the fullest. You will have a year of firsts followed by a year of first and seconds and in that time you will figure out who You are and blossm into a new norm with so much to offer others and a deep understanding of love and compassion you never knew you possessed. You are beautiful and worthy and valuable!