I also lost my husband from pancreatic cancer. We had 10 months to say goodbye but what a ride of grief and love. I am at my one year anniversary of his passing. The only hope I can give is that the waves of grief get a little further apart it becomes weekly instead of daily. I don't think there is any quick fix to the grief only riding the wave and let the tears flow. Maybe someday the tears will dry up but it sure hasn't been this week that's for sure.

The waves do spread out - and I notice when they come now (20 months later) that they are more happy than sad... I appreciate my time with him, I re-live the love he gave me, it's a warm feeling.

I'm so very sorry that you lost your love. Reading your post brings me back to the beginning for me. I remember that feeling of waking up everyday and that awful gut punch. I would jump out of bed and get moving, crying through getting ready and driving to work. I did everything I could to avoid being alone with my thoughts. I called people on my drive to and from work, kept the TV on, worked ALOT and scheduled things with family and friends. After almost a year, I realized I had to face the pain. I allowed it to wash over me and cried and yelled and eventually found some peace. The waves lessen with time in both strength and frequency, the timing is different for everyone. I also did a lot of investigating about the afterlife and God to try to find my answers. I'm blessed with good family and friends and a 14 month old grand daughter who was born on his first anniversary. What a bittersweet gift. All of this gives me reason to get up and live my life each day. I still miss him terribly but the tears aren't as often or as much. You will survive and find moments of joy. Our lives are forever changed but we do go on. There are groups that can help. Griefshare and other bereavement groups can provide support. My best to you. Marybeth

Hi Ellen, we actually got good news from my brother just yesterday. His latest MRI has shown that he is stable and there is no new activity. He has another check in two months. HIs doctors are being very proactive and I'm forever grateful. I don't think my family could take another blow, so getting this good news is going to be our Christmas gift! Thank you so much for asking! I hope you're doing well, too. I really wish peace for everyone here.

First let me say I'm sorryfor your loss. I vividly remember the passing of my husband. My husband was diagnosed with lung cancer and given 3 months to live. We talked, or rather my husband spoke and I listenedited,. He had spoken to the doctor and didn't want to have therapy. He felt in his condition it was better to have the time allowed than be I'll for perhaps longer. We spent the next 10 weeks together.


It's now 10 years and I was breathless at times with grief. I believe we made the right decision for us. After a time I would have an occasional good day. Those good days became more frequent with bad days in between. As they say, grief isn't steadybut comes in waves. We learn to bare the bad days knowing that they were going to get better.

The love you shared will never go away in my experience, but you learn to live in spite of it. Sharon

Just short of 6 weeks. I dread every day.

Oh my Denverkim, It took about 3 years until I really accepted the fact that he was gone. I don't believe it had to be that way. I just couldn't let go. I would play games with myself and pretend that he was just at work or out in the yard mowing and soon I would take him a glass of cold tea. It took me three years to finally begin my journey of healing. It happened when I started to see the things that God was doing in my life, small and large blessings that I knew where from Him. After that, I had more and more "normal" days in which I could enjoy things apart from my husband. Finally, I saw that I was living again. Since then, I have seen many women who became widows and did not go to the depths of despair that I went through. These women have one thing in common. They trust their futures to God. I didn't know how to do that when my husband died, but once I learned, it made all the difference. This is what I will pray for you.