Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have learned in these past weeks that I have to do what works for me in order to get through each day. The recent posting of the Mourners Bill of rights has backed up my findings. My inlaws asked me to come down for a birthday celebration for my teenage nephew tomorrow. I still cry quite often and really did not want to try to put on a happy face or worse yet break down and ruin the kids day so I declined. Then they tried to make me feel guilty by saying they have to get my mother in law out more as she just sits home and cries. What I don't understand is why can't they understand that maybe solitude and tears right now are what some of us may need to get through this time. I have always been a private person and prefer to keep my grief in the same manner. I go to work each day and get through on the most part without tears because I am busy but I know being around his family will only upset me at this point or make me feel I have to force my self to put on a happy face which I really can't handle right now. His family is quite extensive and I just find it all too overwhelming.
Just a little while ago though I felt like talking to someone so I reached out by text to an old friend of my husbands who has a good head on his shoulders and a great personality and I have always felt comfortable around him. Just wanted to talk about a mutual friend who's lifestyle as always amused us and talk share some stories about my husband. I sent a text to give him a chance to ignore me in case he felt uncomfortable. He called me back and we talked for about 45 minutes and he was just what I needed. We talked about a little bit of everything and we even ended with hearty laughter which I haven't had in quite a while. What I am trying to get at is we all have to deal with this in our own way and don't let anyone try to push you into doing what you know will not work for you at this time. Do what makes you feel as good as you can possibly feel because this is so difficult a time you have to do whatever you need in order to get through this and keep your sanity. This site has worked for me also because I can share but still be private and also I can step away from it when the pain gets too great. I know this is long winded but just wanted to share what I have found is working for me. Everyone is different and the key message to this post is do what works for you.
Love you all
Kathy
Just a little while ago though I felt like talking to someone so I reached out by text to an old friend of my husbands who has a good head on his shoulders and a great personality and I have always felt comfortable around him. Just wanted to talk about a mutual friend who's lifestyle as always amused us and talk share some stories about my husband. I sent a text to give him a chance to ignore me in case he felt uncomfortable. He called me back and we talked for about 45 minutes and he was just what I needed. We talked about a little bit of everything and we even ended with hearty laughter which I haven't had in quite a while. What I am trying to get at is we all have to deal with this in our own way and don't let anyone try to push you into doing what you know will not work for you at this time. Do what makes you feel as good as you can possibly feel because this is so difficult a time you have to do whatever you need in order to get through this and keep your sanity. This site has worked for me also because I can share but still be private and also I can step away from it when the pain gets too great. I know this is long winded but just wanted to share what I have found is working for me. Everyone is different and the key message to this post is do what works for you.
Love you all
Kathy
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Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
It's true everyone handles grief in their own way. I had people who kept asking me back then where I was going to live. They kept indicating that I couldn't live alone in our house because it would drive me mad. Hah! I am, and I'm fine. That's how much they knew. But it sure is irritating, nonetheless.