Not a thing that can be said. They have hate in their heart, and until they can forgive whatever that ex- may or may not have done to them, they will remain bitter and angry. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison to hurt someone else. In other words, it doesn't change them, it only harms us. Me, I would just feel sorry for them because obviously they never had the real love most of us here were blessed with. Scottie

They wish that because they are angry at their ex-husbands. They are bitter, have these never-ending fights and arguments, and after the whole long process of divorce, come out of courtrooms hating each other. They feel betrayed, are thirsty for revenge and think a person who does that deserves death because he ruined the family. Dear Nicaboo20, I am a divorced woman and it is with heartfelt sincerity that I say to you that I am very sorry for your loss. Unlike many divorced women you have met, though, I have never wished my ex-husband died. In fact I tremble at the thought I may lose him to death, now that I lost him to another woman. I love him, pray for him and wish him well. You know only last month, I met a young lady who got divorced, and some time later, her ex-husband died of a heart attack. She was grieving. Who am I to say that she loved her ex-husband less than she would have, had they stayed married? If I were you, I would be open to these divorced women and say, "Look, I am mourning the profound loss of the person I loved and still love. If you hate your ex so much that you wish he were dead, and in so doing, envy my situation, please don't talk to me like this because I find it hurtful." You are still raw and can't absorb all these expressions of hatred towards their ex-husbands at all. If it helps, please avoid conversations with such people. They are very bitter inside and you are better off with people who offer you compassion, who listen to you and not make any "wise" comments. You need people who are just quiet and don't tell you what you should do, or even burden you with their headaches.

I divorced in 2001 which was the most difficult thing in my life at that point. I remember that I thought it was the hardest thing I had ever experienced. I was glad that my then husband left me, not died. I somehow knew as long as he was alive, I could wish him happiness.

I lost my second husband, father of my two beautiful children last year. The pain is still uncomparable to anything I had ever gone through. Divorce is one thing, but burying husband is surreal. Only worse thing I can think of is burying own child.