It happened again. And this time at church. I atended a new church today. At the end of the service they sent the visitors into a separate room to meet the pastor. Long story short, the pastor mentioned the various support groups the church has, one being the divorce support group. So I said, do you have one for widows. And he said, "well we have the divor..."and stopped talking, switching over to the suggestion of a new grief support group starting in a few months.

Although he stopped mid-sentence, I think he did so because of the expression on my face. I think he seriously thinks losing a spouse is the same as divorcing a spouse. I've heard this before, one woman even suggested to me that divorce was harder because the spouse may have left on his own accord.

Wow!

I'm an expert on this suggest. Few people can say this. I actually married my late husband back in 1992. We divorced in 1996 and remarried in 2002, ten years and two months from the original marriage date. I can definetly say that the divorce was much easier to deal with. It was sad, yes, but in a I'll-get-over-it sort of way. And he was still alive so there wasn't really closure. The death--shocking, not prepared, shattered. That's how I'll describe it. Divorce--most of the time you see it coming. Maybe even welcome it. Death of a spouse, no way.