Hi! Perhaps he was telling you that he is okay and wantsyou to move on. He wants you to be happy. I am sorry you are having a rough week. Sending you a big hug!! Sue

He is wanting you to let go. Start a new life? An you are having a hard time blocking him from your thoughts and life? JMO Sandee

Hello Mary, maybe you don't need a dream to glimpse the essence of your husband. Maybe you can go to a place you both went before and just close your eyes and feel his presence. Hugs, Tiger

I think it was probably a subconscious release of frustration being processed as you were unable to "contact" your hubby. ??

I had similar dreams in the beginning. They totally left me disturbed as I didn't perceive them as pleasant.

Hopefully your future dreams will evolve to being more peaceful.

Hugs, D

I had those dreams, too. The worst one he was with another woman and laughing at me for crying - UGH! I would wake up from those sobbing. What a shitty way to start the day....

Dreams of being abandoned or betrayed or unwanted by our spouses is extremely common. They are terrible, but they seem to be part of the process of comprehending and accepting that they are no longer here. Your subconscious is jumping through hoops to make sense of everything, and that's what takes over when you go to sleep.

I had various forms of the nightmares, including replaying Cliff's death over and over, for weeks. I was getting less sleep than when my boys were babies. I was so glad and relieved when I finally had a good dream of Cliff, and then my sleep started to get a bit better.

I wish you only sweet dreams of your hubby.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

P.S. - Cliff visits in my dreams on a regular basis, at least once a week. Hang in there - this is one of those things that does get better over time.

I'm at 27 months and Morey is coming into my dreams more and more.

I dream every night and was so surprised when he wasn't in my dreams earlier. I'm one of those people who can awake from a dream and then go back to sleep and pick up where I left off!

Morey was a wonderful problem solver and in every dream I'm asking for his help with one thing or another. He taught me a lot about life [although, I'm pretty sure that who I am is who I always was.] Morey's strengths only added to my already bizarre personality! ;o)

Roz

I had such nightmares at the beginning, I was afraid to sleep. Finally they stopped. In fact, I don't dream of him at all, that I remember. 29 months for me. Finally, I sleep 7-8 hours a night, uninterrupted. In bed about 11, up at 6?.

I've had some nightmares, even before he passed...3 days before he passed away, I dreamed I was holding a round container. When I opened it, his ashes flew out and I started choking...I woke up having an asthma attack...and after I had picked up his ashes, I dreamed that he was sitting across from me, staring straight ahead...I started to say 'Thank God, it was just a dream' when I looked over and saw his urn on the table. I looked back at him, and he looked at me....then I woke up. I've had more 'pleasant' dreams too, and I hope that you will, Mary. These nightmares can really leave us feeling alone and in despair.

I am one of those people who are visited by my husband when I am awake. I can sit in my chair and close my eyes and feel his presence as well as see him. I believe that if you believe that they are around you they will come often bringing a sense of wellbeing with them. Sharon

@ cliffskat - I am suffering from those same terrible nightmares now, they have put me back in therapy. I can't seem to stop them, I wake up crying nearly every night.

Each time she is with another and they are laughing at me and gloating about that fact that they are together, I don't know what prompts these nightmares, I know they aren't real, I know she is in a better place, but the nightmares keep coming.

Any idea's on how to stop them, or what may be causing them.

I dreamed of Don only once. He was looking at me with such pity, as my teeth started to fall out. Then my teeth were all back in my mouth and Don was gone. I hope to have a nice dream about him soon.

@cdameron - talk with your therapist about it, but I have a feeling that your nightmares coming now may be triggered by a couple of things going on in the back of your thoughts. One is guilt - you should not feel guilt, none of us should, but we all do at some point. It may be that you are somehow blaming yourself for her death and so the dream makes you the undesirable one. It's just a possibility.

You might try writing your wife a letter, saying how you feel, and that you know it wasn't your fault that she is gone, and how much you miss her. You know in your heart-of-hearts that it was not your fault and that she did not willingly leave you, but sometimes we have to see things in black and white for it to sink in. It might be worth a try.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I wrote of a similar dream, my wife said "stop looking for me, I can't come back".

I believe dreams like this are a sign from them telling us to move forward, after all, they don't want to watch us suffer, and deep down we know they cannot return. At some point we have to let go, not of everything, but of the fantasy that they will return.

I re live the things I was told about my husband's death in dream form all the time. He was at work when he passed away so I have only his co workers account of what happened. I see the chain of events that is created into a story in each dream and the ending is usually me standing in the hospital room with him lying on the bed in front of me. The feeling I had leaving him there is so fresh in my heart. Hugs to you .