Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Discussion v. Debate

laurabp
laurabp
It seems to me that a lot of the hostility that surfaced in our group recently is because many have taken to turning a discussion into a debate. In my own thinking, discussion consists of sharing your view, comparing notes with others, and respecting everyone else's right to their point of view. Debate on the other hand, is about proving WHO IS RIGHT, putting people on the defensive over their point of view, challenging them to back up their statements with facts, etc. I believe that everything can be DISCUSSED here regarding widowhood/loss of partner, including religon, as long as we do not turn it into a DEBATE. I am with those people who have said in another post that we can get this group turned around and back on track again, to being a group where we can exchange ideas, ask questions, vent, and find support. laurabp
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
The definition of support according to one dictionary is: "Help and kindness that you give to someone who is having a difficult time." That's what DS was for me and what I have tried to give back in return.

I hope we can get back to that kind of healthy support.

Love and Hugs, Martha
deleted_user
deleted_user
My wish is also to get back to healthy support. That is why we call come here - that is what we're looking for.
Chris
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes....Healthy support is what we are all looking for. If there was only one way to get through this grieving hell.....someone would have written "the" defining book and we could all just get a copy and follow it. Sadly, it is different for each of us....both in the manner we grieve and the time frame the journey takes. We all need each other.
deleted_user
deleted_user
All I can say is I am here to offer understanding and support to any grieving spouse. So many wonderful friends on DS have helped and supported me through every imaginable up and down (anger, fear, distrust, giddiness, uncertainty, loneliness, obstacles . . . . . ). It's only right I reach out my hand to help those who are behind me on the grief path.

Love and hugs to all of you who are hurting.

Tami
loveandgrace
loveandgrace
Laura,
Thanks for bringing up this very timely topic. I've been thinking about the very same thing. In the U.S. at this time, as modeled by certain political happenings and media personalities, there seems to have emerged a style of communication that is marked by name calling, labeling, intolerance, and knee-jerk reactions. And we see how well that is working, don't we? :)

Civil discourse, on the other hand, is exactly the way you described--the willingness to listen to other points of view that differ from one's own and the openness to even learning from new ideas and perspectives. It takes patience and maturity. There is no "right" or "wrong," only different.

It looks to me like we are on the way back to actively creating that sort of "vibe" once again.

Hugs all around,
Amy
laurabp
laurabp
Amy, my thoughts exactly regarding the political debates going on right now! I have never seen so much name-calling in my life! Thank you all for your responses and I look forward to our group getting back to "normal" soon! laurabp
loveandgrace
loveandgrace
Laura--

It looks to me like we are well on our way. ;)

Hugs,
Amy