I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband March 19th of this year...it's been 19 weeks as of today, and I'm still in shock and disbelief..I go through bouts of crying, everyday...while in my head I know he's gone, my 'heart' can't process it. I don't know how long it lasts, only that so far for me, it has lasted the entire 19 weeks he's been gone.

Its different for everyone. It's been a year for me. The shock and numbness wore off about month 6 but the disbelief I still have problems with.

So very very sorry about your loss Kelly. First of all you have come to the right place for comfort. I lost my beloved husband of 38yrs just a little over a year ago, but it still seems like yesterday. Even though he had been sick & it was expected, you can just never prepare for losing them.
Your shock/emotions/numbness/disbelief etc. will be there daily & I wish I could say they won't, because they will. Just cry whenever you need to .... let it all out...... We are here for you !!

Hi Kelly,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved. You have been through a traumatic experience. ...you have made a good step by coming here , to try and make some sense of what has happened. I know the shock and disbelief seems to protect us from the initial experience.....grief will set in.....please make sure you take care of yourself. We are all here, for you any time......
Love and gentle hugs for you......Sandra

Kelly: First off I am so sorry. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of forty one. The first month was a total blur. I know that I put together a great funeral, everyone told me so. I know that I dropped a ton of weight because I forgot how to eat, but I really can't remember much more. I would say the disbelief lasted for about six months for me. I would wake up and hope the nightmare had ended. I expected to come home from work and find him. I didn't really grieve because I couldn't really believe he was gone. So all I can tell you is that what you are feeling is totally normal.
Hugs,
Val

Thank you all for your kind words. I find that I am in a state where I don't really even miss him yet. I think it's bc even though I tell myself 100x a day that he is gone, I don't really believe it. It's so weird that I can't really think of him. I tell stories about him all the time but I can't actually picture him and how he moved or his voice. I try but I feel like I can't remember anything.

I still fantasize that he's alive somewhere, that there was a mistake, and that he'll be back...even though I know that's not true...

I didn't do a lot of crying and people would say I wasn't acting right. Didn't mean I wasn't grieving. I don't remember much about the first year. Seems like time flew by. The shock remains to some extent over a long period. I am going into my third year and only lately have I been feeling like I am alive and separate from it. Please don't try to rush anything. Takes some time for the broken bond to heal. I'm glad now that I kept myself shut off from everything, often against the advice of others. I needed that.

Kelly, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think we all grieve in our own way and doubt there is any set time for any of our emotions. At 11 weeks I am still new to this agony. But there are things I have done that I didn't think I could do 11 weeks ago, or 8 weeks ago, or even yesterday. I just try to take it one day at a time. The waves of emotions come unexpectady. And all I can do is ride them and hope the come less often and less agressively. You have come to a wonderful site, these people get it. Hugs to you, Michele

Those things probably vary for each person and each different situation.
For myself shock and disbelief were 2 completely separate things, due to the way my husband died. It was sudden, and he was in bed with me. I heard his final breath expirations and had to immediately discover that he had passed- for myself.
I had enormous lasting SHOCK. but NO chance to even experience real unbelief or denial.. it was horrible.
Perhaps someone else could experience the same type of passing and feel differently than me though.?
I don't know.

I wish I had an answer for you. My husband passed away unexpectedly a little over 8 months ago. He was complaining of a shortness of breath. I called 911 and he took his final breath while I was talking to the Operator. I still keep thinking and hoping that I will wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream. But I never do. I still don't want him to be gone. Every day something reminds me of him and makes me sad. At least here we have the support of others going through the same thing. Maybe some day it will get easier.

Dear Kelly, very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 5 months ago. We have been married for 27 years. In the first several months, like you, I couldn't picture her. Now I still have trouble remembering her voice. But these are normal. Your loved one's image and voice will come back, slowly, with pain they bring but then with peace that follows. It may really be hard to for you believe now. But my wife's images now bring tears and smiles at the same time. Take care of yourself now (eat and sleep and do some exercise if possible) for that day to come. Hugs, Tiger

Kelly, I am so sorry. I lost my husband 9 months ago, he was 44. I still feel what you describe on a daily and sometimes hourly basis. I can sometimes talk about it when people ask but never with out tears. I have trouble with knowing what day it its and keeping my life straight. It is a roller coaster and a journey none of us want to take but we are together in this. We all know how you feel because we are there or have been there. Take care of yourself

I am so sorry for your loss.....I remember those first weeks and I could not remember my husbands voice or his touch. It was awful and just added to my pain. We were married almost 40 years.
I am just past the 6 month point and still not doing well. I am seeing a therapist twice a week and on medication.
This journey is so painful and there is no way around it, you have to go thru it....just take the emotions as they come.

I am so sorry for your loss Kelly. my wife passed away in Feb. suddenly and unexpectedly. She was only 48 and I am still somewhat in disbelief. The shock has wore off a bit but I still find myself asking how this could happen. I know the would of, should of, could of, is counter productive and not particularly healthy but I cannot help thinking that there might have been something I could have done to prevent her death which is normal thinking for all of us. Hang in there and welcome to a club none of us asked to join but everyone here knows what you are going through. -Pete