It does to me. I have to force myself to go places. I can go to the corner store. but have noticed I may not leave this house for a week at a time, then only if I have to. The mowers are all out of gas, can't bring myself to go get any. No milk for over a week. will eat whatever I can find here, rather than to leave and get it. Its been almost 4 months for me. I am a people person. usually.....

I find I get everthing ready on payday. make a plan. in order, pay all the bills. get food, tioletries, gas, etc. I do it all in one day. then
I don't have to leave the house for the next month. I have been wanting to go to the movies, but can't bring myself to go. Think I will wait til it comes out on video.....FEAR

It sure does or panic, like I couldn't stay away from home very lon,. I had to get back there. I think it was because when my husband was still hear, if I went to the store or wherever without him, I would feel I needed to rush to get back home. After he past it felt just what your saying, fear. I'm getting better with it now.

same here... run to pharmacy, run home, check on him, run to store, back home...... my daughter-in-law, made me stay at their home there all day a week after he died. Said you are not a y0-y0 anymore.

I hate leaving the house but I go to work but if I can get out of it I don't even go to the store.
Today my sister and mom went to the grocery store so I just sent a list and money. Now I don't have to leave for a few days, it's a relief.

The other day I just had to get out. I rode around in my car, ended up at a cemetary visiting my family, and just walked around. Telling myself I was looking for a cemetry stone I liked. (I lied to myself)...I used to find peace going to my families graves. There was none there. So when I went to husbands grave, no peace there... I am relapsing....

You feel fear because you still suffer from shock, everybody is different but we all suffer from it after the death of our spouses for a variable length of time.

Our home is our outer armour, a place we feel safe and where we do not have to be on show. We can cocoon ourselves there and grieve and regain some strength, hidden from outsiders. It feels good and secure. However, for our own mental and physical health, with baby steps we should try to go out and rebuild our strength. I know it demands an effort but we have to look to the future also.

I always said that my husband was my strength and shield and, without him, I feel exposed, wounded, naked. But I think of him and knows he would want me to be my usual self, so I gather my courage brace myself and go into the outside world. The thing I find most distressing are large social gatherings where I feel lonely amongst others so I try to avoid at all costs.

I am sure our fear is normal and hopefully, in time, we will overcome it.

I wish you strength and courage. Take care. Viviane

I suspect the first 4.5 months were shock.

One source of fear is a result of loss. In particular if you lost someone unexpectedly. There's a sly voice that says "If I go out, will everyone still be alive when I return?"

Basically you lose trust in life and the world itself. Well that was my experience anyway.

It passes of course.

I experienced the fear before my husband passed. It was fear of the unknown and fear of not having control. I learned that I don't have control and that the unknown is just that and not something awful. Maybe some counseling would help? There are also prescriptions. I have taken 5htp in the past, which is all natural, homeopathic medicine that helps anxiety and depression. It is actually Tryptophan which is the chemical in turkey that relaxes us on Thanksgiving. He he. It doesn't make me sleepy, but it does relax me.

I do not feel fear, I go out and do things, but when i have had enough, I do feel like I need to get back home. Like home is my comfortable place. I think it is because I feel closest to my husband here.

Morgal, I also think because home is the only place you can totally and completely take the "mask" off. At least that's how it is for me.

I think fear of the unknown and anxiety are pretty normal as we learn to walk this path alone. We are used to having a partner to travel life's path, someone to share with, someone we trust. We're not 100 percent confident on our own yet; and common sense tells us that it can be a scary world out there. Our home is our island of peace and security, the place we feel safest and calmest. If the fear and anxiety continue for a prolonged period of time or become overwhelming then professional help is indicated. Blessings always.

its seems like we have on a mask for the comfort of the outside world and it can beome exhausting. When you are home without it, its comfortable, you can be who you are with every emotion you feel and its fine and then when its time to go out again, you have to brace yourself for the comfort of others. At least that is how it was for me, and can still be.... 19 months later, i go to work, and my few normal places, the gym, the store, but large social gathersa are not for me........peace to you

I felt this way too, lack of energy to put on the 'I'm fine' face and face the world. The first months, it's normal as others have said. Talking to someone can help immensely, especially a professional, so it doesn't get out of control. Consider a hospice group or get together with a small group of widows just to feel understood and visif with us often. This is an exclusive club, widowhood, we none looked to join, but together we make small steps through the pain. Sharon

It's like being public naked ~
Too many toxins in your body caused by stress: adrenalin & cortisol ~
Do something that requires physical activity or get a massage to release them ~
The first part of grief work is being w/the grief & learning how to take care of yourself to promote healing ~
Try to smile or laught at a pleassant thought or a light hearted joke to activate your neurons ~
____________________________________________________
I am currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too! But the possibilities are endless! ~me,me,me,me,me,me~

I lost my husband Cliff to a sudden heart attack - his first, last, and only - in 2007. Prior to that time I could have taken on the world - I was almost too fearless. But after his death, when my whole world fell apart, I became so afraid of everything, and afraid of losing every other person I cared about. Nothing felt safe, nothing felt secure. I used to travel cross-country by myself, but after Cliff died it was hard just to go to the grocery store alone.

I completely understand and identify with what you are saying. I have been there, too. I had to fight it, and do stuff even when I was scared s**tless, because it was suddenly all my responsibility and I couldn't let anybody down, especially our sons.

Counseling will help you with this, at least it helped me a lot. I would recommend that. Also, a book I read really helped me, too: "Seven Choices-Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World" by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. I highly recommend this book.

You are not crazy and you are not alone. This is a common reaction. You will get through this, one baby step at a time for awhile, but you will make it through this. Don't give up.

I should also say that now I am able to travel alone again, and while somethings will trigger the dread again, I am not controlled or haunted by it. I am okay. You will be, too.

Love and Big Hugs,
Martha