Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today is my anniversary. I celebrated by going to church alone. Then I went by the cemetary alone to take new flowers. I watched football on TV by myself, took a short nap, watched some more TV. Had leftovers for lunch, not thinking too much about supper except my son and wife said we might go eat. Haven't heard from them or from my daughter today.
I guess I need a thicker skin. I haven't cried, so I guess I'm getting one. But it doesn't seem right that I spent the day all alone. Maybe I don't care anymore that the world goes on without me. It's just short of 3 years since I lost my husband.
A few people responded with "likes" on Facebook when I posted a picture of Joe and me and said that it was 17 years ago today that I married my best friend.
Oh, well. I know God is there and that he loves me and cares for me. He will be my best friend on and on. But he doesn't carry on a conversation with me like a friend or relative would. I'm trying to learn whatever it is that I'm supposed to learn while still here on earth. But it's so silent, so lonely. Thanks for listening.
I guess I need a thicker skin. I haven't cried, so I guess I'm getting one. But it doesn't seem right that I spent the day all alone. Maybe I don't care anymore that the world goes on without me. It's just short of 3 years since I lost my husband.
A few people responded with "likes" on Facebook when I posted a picture of Joe and me and said that it was 17 years ago today that I married my best friend.
Oh, well. I know God is there and that he loves me and cares for me. He will be my best friend on and on. But he doesn't carry on a conversation with me like a friend or relative would. I'm trying to learn whatever it is that I'm supposed to learn while still here on earth. But it's so silent, so lonely. Thanks for listening.
Belated Happy Anniversary! You are a very wise lady and I know what you mean about family, friends, etc. having moved on and not remembering to call to give you a boost on one of your and Joe's special days. Yup! We are left to grieve alone...but not exactly alone. Joe was with you, as you well know, and knowing my husband is with me on ALL days is what helps to keep me at least semi-sane. Also, you do have all of us here, as you also well know. And it's here you came to talk. You really are getting better and better and inspire the rest of us to do the same.
Hugs,
Terry
We care here, and sending best wishes your way....
I understand some of what your going thru, too new yet to truly know.
Hope today was better and tomorrow you make good strides
This last August was what would have been our 40th anniversary. I just knew I needed to do something different and away from home so I met up with another widow friend and we stayed in a town halfway between where we live. We each had a 4 hr drive to meet, but worth each mile. We had dinner, shared tears and smiles and tons of conversation. We spent Friday thru Sunday. It was so good to be understood. My family is fabulous and I am blessed, but this really nourished my soul.
Many hugs,
Sallie
Years later when all family and friends forget because we appear to be doing well (OK) they go on like we would have... It does suck
Thick skin is a self protective mode, figuratively speaking. It is coping mechanisms, which a widow/er needs to develop to protect the heart and mind from continuously experiencign the emotional trauma. I wish we all become strong, but not bitter or angry, but sometimes it is just wishful thinking.
Hopefully, you will find more social contacts outside of your immediate family, and balance between being alone but not so lonely, and sharing time with someone. Getting out is important, so make efforts and push yourself to ne in some public places, get our once in a while, even for a cup of coffee.
Hug.
my new best scripture has become Colossians 1:11...being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance, and patience, and joyfully.