I am not a religious person. but I have talked to my friends her are. and they tend to agree with me...in that not everything happens for a reason. sometimes there is no upside. things just happen. I believe that every choice you make changes the road before you. its nice to think that there is a master plan out there for you...but that is not something I believe. I think every choice you make...no matter how big or small changes the your outcome. That is my opinion. and you just hope your making the right choices for yourself and your loved ones.

First of all, I have read some interesting answers and opinions to your topic. As for myself I do believe God has a plan for my life. I do believe he knew that plan when I was born. Grant you, I don't know if he knew the choices I would make along the way, but I do feel he put situations in my path to lead me to make decisions I did make. I am not always sure we know when direction is being given. I think for myself I just have to trust that I am making the decision that is good for me. The next question about preparation for future endeavors, and potential relationships, well I am totally at a loss on that one. I have asked myself, as well as God what is next. At this point I still don't know. All I can do is have faith that he knows what is in store for me, and whatever decision that I make in my life, it's the right one for me.

I know God is not going to send me a text or email and say "umm Susan I have decided that you will live alone the rest of your life" or a text or email that says "I am sending someone else into your life, to love, and take care of you"!!! If it were only that easy!!! I think at some point we all want answers immediately about the rest of our lives since what we thought our "happily ever after" is no longer with us.

So in the mean time, all I can do is just pray and put my life in Gods hands and see what road he happens to how in my path. Praying each of us find happiness and peace again!! God Bless Susan

I have been wondering the same thing. Through this journey i have built up a defense in a way I almost try to control everything. I try to be preventative. This has only hurt me more.

I have a very special person in my life that tells me all the time if i learn to let go and learn that i cannot control people places or things then i will see where god is tring to put me.

I want to thank you all for the thoughtful and very helpful posts. All a person needs to do is ask, and so many intelligent and genuinely caring people are right there to help. You are all truly a blessing to my son and I. I hope over time I can do the same for you, and others that will follow us in grief.
Robert

We all have our own thoughts and opinions and what I have learned is that whatever makes you feel better and content is what you should go with.

I believe in God, but after losing my husband, my thoughts have changed about Him. I do not believe things happen for a reason. I think people believe that to help them heal, to understand. I believe that things just happen. God is there to protect and guide us, to give us a moral compass and to follow His word. How we do that is our own choice. Maybe our days on earth are already predetermined. But what we do in that time is ours. How I see God now, is a comfort. He is there in our time of need, again to protect and guide. He is there to get us through our darkest days.

What I believe doesn't matter, what others believe doesn't matter. What matters is what you believe and what makes you get to a better place.

Lisa

What a thoughtful question and equally thoughtful replies! I was going to reply a couple of days ago but there have been several more wonderful replies much better than mine.

Sometimes I think that we can get confused between the fact that God knows all, even before it happens and God controlling everything in the future. There is a huge difference between the two but so many times we think that because God KNOWS what we are going to do before we do it, that he is controlling it. I don't think that God forces anyone to do anything. He may give us nudges now and then but I don't think that we are puppets moving to his every command.

As far as knowing what God's will is for us, that is THE question, isn't it? Of course, bottom line is that we are to love and live our lives in sacrifice for others but that can take so very many forms in each of our lives. I usually see God's hand or plan in hindsight most easily!

My husband had cancer the first time when he was 24 and I was pregnant with our only child. He also became sterile from the treatment so there was an added burden. It was all impossibly difficult, and caused us both intense pain but in the end it set us on a path toward God that we pursued sincerely for most of our marriage. Could I see that good consequence when we were in the midst of all the craziness? Absolutely not, but I can see it very clearly now in hind sight.

Right now, like most of you, I am in the middle of the pain and horrible times. Can I see the goodness for the future? No, not at all, but unless I am willing to forget all that happened in the past, I have to assume that good is possible to come from this intense pain. Does that make me endure it graciously? No! I am very far from being a saint, but I have that small measure of peace knowing that good CAN come of everything if I just don't give in to bitterness.

Not my will but Thine be done Lord. Maybe it is our free will to truly accept that and know that only the best will be done on our lives. Even loss and grief are lessons that the human experience must know for greater growth. Later we will know the "Why"

I can see that you are having a very difficult time accepting your new journey. Your post draws me back 9 months ago when all I wanted was to know; why? Unfortunately, I never found the answer. Like yourself I questioned our own existence, free will and destiny. One of my deepest question of all is, why bad things happen to good people? I guess at the end there is no such thing as good people since we are humans; who are born with moral sin.... However we are born with a precious gift known as free will. Each one of us have the power of utilizing free will to the best of our abilities. Some choose to hurt, or destroy themselves and those around them. While others help and do their best to make a difference to this world. Yet, despite of our God willing choices we make in this world our end is the same-death. According to the scriptures this is the curse that was laid up on all men for our sin.

I do understand that lives philosophy can be hard to process but I learned that staying in Faith does makes a difference and at the end of the day just like my husband always said "it is what it is and not what we want it to be". Loved your topic..

Sandra.