Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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loveddogs 06/02/2015

Am still getting the run around on my husband's death certificate. The funeral home says they keep leaving messages for the gal at va. wouldn't you think if she hasn't returned your call by now that she may be on vacation or doesn't even work there anymore? So this morning I call the va advocate and he said he will get to the bottom of it and get back to me this afternoon or in the morning. Last time I called him to complain I got immediate action from the higher ups. Hope it works this time. Even so when/if they get his certificate straightened out it will still take two weeks for dhhs to get it back and then two more weeks for me to access my husband's retirement. Crazy. Doesn't help that I have caught a bug and feel really crappy today. Just my luck I guess. It will be six weeks Thursday since my husband passed. I gaurantee you the funeral home will get the minimum payment spread out over months. I am just sick of incompetence!!

dschwartz 06/02/2015

Get it out girl . . vent away! This truly sucks on top of grief!! So sorry you are having to go through this. :( Hugs, hugs, hugs, D

bookdragon 06/02/2015

Everything takes so much longer and has so much more red tape then we think. It really sucks that just when you are at the bottom of the well you need to take care of so much. It took 3-4 months to access my husbands pension, with lots of forms and phone calls. Vent away. we know what you are going through. Patti

Coop84 06/02/2015

So sorry you have to deal with this. You go get them!!!! I know that the red tape you have to go through on top of grieving is truly a horrible experience. Hang in there!!!!! Hugs Sue

maryelnew 06/02/2015

so sorry to hear this - when I hadn't seen an update post, I was hoping it was because all had finally started to straighten itself out. A big hug to you.

Sara59 06/02/2015

Better yet send them a dollar a month. When they demand more, keep telling them you are working on finding out why you can't seem to send a payment for more than $1. "Yeah doc says I need therapy. Says it may take 6 months to a year till I feel better, and that's only if I don't get stressed out again."

joannklingaman 06/02/2015

loveddogs... Is your funeral home dealing with VA for funeral costs ??
If so let me know & I can give some information. I know after I lost Larry last year, it was an experience dealing with the VA and you really have to keep on top of things. If I can help you in anyway, let me know..... Hugs JoAnn

doyew 06/02/2015

This didn't affect me (thank heaven) but last year in Miss. where I live, death cert's were delayed because THEY RAN OUT OF THE PAPER THEY WERE TO BE PRINTED ON! Probably had a contract with some co. in Bangladesh for the paper. My heart went out to those who had to deal with this, and it goes out to you in your current situation. I ordered 15 copies, and used all but 1 or 2.
Doye

deleted_user 06/02/2015

We've all been through the red-tape of death, in one instance or another.

Living life and then dying is a nightmare, I tell you, a true nightmare!

The best advice I can give is ENJOY life in any way that makes you smile.......not just one of those "quirky, quick" little smiles but a HUGE, BELLY LAUGHING, DEEP CHESTED SMILE!!!!

Hang on everyone, we ALL have to go through this life and all it has to offer.

Roz

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