I think for our loved ones who were so very sick with no hope of getting well..close to the end of their time here...death became a friend...something to be embraced rather than feared. For those of us left in this terrible grief....we are no longer afraid because we know we will be once again with our loved ones once death comes for us.

I totally understand your feelings on death. After losing my husband I no longer looked at death the same way either. I also realized that until that time comes when my Lord calls me home I have a responsibility here on earth. It wasn't apparent what that mission was so I take each day at a time and try to be the best person I can be. I try to stay open and positive to whatever enters my life and do my best. That's all any of us can do. I wish you well and better days ahead. Sharon

It's true. I used to be afraid of dying too, but when my husband was ill, but before the cancer had affected his brain, he was looking around his bed one day, kind of up in the air. I asked him what he was looking at, and he said his "Guardian Angels." He said they'd come to just visit, but hadn't come yet to take him "home." He wasn't the least bit afraid but said that they comforted him. There were 3 of them, he said.

That comforted ME too!!! I don't know why, but it did. He was totally lucid that day too, like I said. After that day I was no longer afraid of dying and I'm still not. That happened 9 years ago.

I'm not ready to go right this minute, but whenever the good Lord decides it's my time, I'll go. lol. Good topic. Thanks. Peace, Lee

Our whole life changes in an instant in a traumatic way. We do a lot of soul searching about ourselves and our lives when we are grieving. I have always been a tremendous worrier. I worried like crazy during DH's illness and after he passed away I made myself sick worrying about EVERYTHING I could think up. On top of grieving, right away I had many things break in the house, we had a hurricane that destroyed my Dad's place that I was selling, and on and on. I could hardly tell you my name then and it was so hard to deal with all this stuff and worry about it too. When the fog began to lift at about a year and a half into this, suddenly I just couldn't hold up to the constant worrying anymore - just couldn't do it for the first time in my life. I pretty much live day to day now and think it will stay that way. I too have a different outlook on death and welcome it when God says it's time because I'll be with DH again. The death of a spouse/partner forces us to reinvent ourselves and our lives and although we didn't ask for it, we change. Take care.

I was not afraid of death before but there was much more holding me here and the thought of death, while not scary, was still something that I would have fought with everything that was in me. Now I don't seem to have that same attachment to this life, most days anyway. Yes, I agree with you. I feel the same way.

l don,t worry about anything in this life,things that l thought were so important,no longer matter,except of course for my family.
Death to my husband was a release from the awful pain that he was in,he is at peace now.Seeing what he went through gave me a different outlook on death.All material things in life don,t matter anymore,l was a spiritual person,now even more so.
When my time is up,and l am ready to fall into my husbands arms,this time forever,l will welcome death as my friend.
take care
Alice

I too no longer fear death just not being spiritually ready for eternity. I look at our time here on earth as but a blip compared to eternity. And of course we anticipate the joy at being reunited with our loved one. And the visions and assurances I have been given concerning afterlife along with having no doubt at all where my husband is removes all fear. But I'm not going to live my life just waiting to die. That would be wrong. I have lessons to learn and love to give. I have to make the most of my life as that is what would best honour my God and my husband. It's hard but I know my love is but one breath and one heartbeat away.

This is a good topic. I used to fear death to the point it made me sick. Now that John has passed on, I'm not afraid at all. I'm more afraid on what I have to go through to get to that point. Part of me is ready to go, the other part of meisn't. I want to see my grandkids, which I have none yet. I want to accomplish my dreams that I have for myself and for my husband. I have finally come to the realization that John would not want me to sit around feeling sorry for myself like I have been and he would want me to be the person I once was. Which was very optimistic, out going, happy and loving and caring. I too have alot to offer yet.

I can't beleive I'm saying these things already. It's only been 5 weeks today, I haven't cried in 2 days and feel pretty good, so, I'm gonna go with it.

Very interesting. I have felt the same way. It is like, there is a peace about it now. Hugs. Shawn

Death was definitely the longed-for reprieve in Craig's mind. Much as I couldn't stand the thought of losing him, I had to hope it was sooner rather than later from his perspective as well. Death itself was gentle and peaceful for him and nothing to be feared. DYING on the other hand can be long and horrible and I'm hoping to avoid that part.

Now that he's gone, I find I'm not so afraid of things for myself. I flew to CA and bounced around in turbulance and wasn't that scared of crashing - that's a pretty quick way to go. I find I don't dread shaking hands with people or sharing things or otherwise risking picking up germs from people. Not that I'm being unsafe or foolish, but it wouldn't be the end of the world for me to be with him sooner rather than later. Amazing how the stark fear of death can fade a lot when the one you love is on the other side of it.

I agree, death has already taken half of me when it took Rob. I certainly pray for a good death but will take it as it comes. I have often told my kids that if I die quickly, accident or anything, to know that was good for me. I was with a friend the other day, she's never been a good driver and she asked if she scared me. Honestly I didn't care. I recently flew and didn't have any anxiety, I usually do. No I am more curious than anything. Where is Rob? I ask myself everyday. Love and Hugs, Donna

It's as if our loved ones went a head of us to show us that there is nothing to fear. It's a gift really.

Can I exchange that gift???

I think your feelings are common among people who have lost a loved one. However it is difficult to make some people understand. Before my wife's death every day was a gift to be cherished and enjoyed. Now every day is an ordeal to be endured. I find no joy in my life anymore. I have no desire to die but I really have no desire for anything but to find a way to ease the pain. I would not exactly call it a gift but it is a part of the grieving process.

I mean a gift in the sense that we no longer fear death. The bible says that fear is of the devil. So is death for that matter. Before my husband passed, I spent a great deal of my time trying to avoid the inevitable. I'd stay off planes for fear they'd crash. I love travel, but I was missing out on this because of fear.

Shakespeare put it well:

Cowards die a thousand deaths. The valiant taste of death but once.