Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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Dealing with the Pain

Deb321
Deb321

One of the hardest parts about this process for me is that I am not myself. I am usually an upbeat positive happy person. I am pretty even keeled and find the good things in life and dont sweat the small stuff. The glass is always half full with me.  However, now I am just not myself. People ask how I am and I can't say good, because I am not good.  And I know that one day I will feel more like myself and this is a process I have to go through. But it just sucks! There is no other way to put it!

Msbklyn
Msbklyn
Dear Deb: I am so very sorry for your loss and pain. Since I lost my husband 13 months ago that has been my mantra. "It sucks". I too have always been an upbeat positive person. I still am as far as the rest of the world is concerned because how do you tell everyone that you don't care if you live or die. It's just not important any more. The only ones who really know how I feel are my children, they understand how much I miss their Dad and know how much we meant to one another However I am living my life, working, traveling, spending times with friends and family. Anything to keep away the loneliness. Just keep putting one foot in front of another. Time will pass and it will in some ways help diminish the severe ache and pain. It still sucks but you can breathe as time goes on. God bless you and I wish you peace on your journey. Marybeth
Deb321
Deb321
Thank you Marybeth I wish the same for you!!!
shelda
shelda
Its horrifying..i talk to him or me alot and try to figure out answers to important questions...it sucks..as no one else knew me better then him
raininseattle
raininseattle
I want you to read this Deb.
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/megan-devine-your-pain-isn-t-your-fault
scottito
scottito
Oh yeah Deb. And just when we think it's getting better it gets worse. But eventually it really does get better and stays with us. But know, we will never be our old selves again. Hopefully, better than before. Our choice. Use this time to concentrate on improving yourself. Me, I thought myself near perfect going into all this. Boy, I must have been delusional. But that is what happens when you madly in love and so happy for the time we had together. Take care. This too shall pass my friend. ~~~ Scottie
Deb321
Deb321
Thanks all. Great article raininseattle
Renie
Renie
It has been 10 months now and I just take it a minute at a time. I am with you, I miss my husband so much. We were on top of the world, good kids, just had two grandkids, friends and we would go out together and enjoy ourselves, I am so lonely without him, I miss his touch, love and warmth. I am sorry for your loss and the pain that we are all experiencing. Please take care of yourself and every night I say a prayer for everyone on this site. Take care
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