I encourage you to seek answers on your own. It is more meaningful that knowledge is part of your experience and not saying being passed on.

Here is a poem that I found a while ago.
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/we-dance-between-both-worlds

A deeply meaningful poem. Thanks for re-posting it.

There is so much to ponder while in the depths of grief. I never really had to look and figure life shit out before, and at some point we all find peace with just not knowing anything for sure. Hang in there. Scottie

We widowed folks can certainly spend a lot of time and energy searching for answers in dark and not-so-dark places. Though we can believe, in reality, there are just things we cannot know. Like Scottie, I’ve found that there is peace to be had in accepting that there are things we cannot know. That acceptance frees us to apply that time and energy towards the things we can affect in this life where we reside.
~John

Rick....our soul goes on. The very life within us was created by God and it will return to Him when we die. He created everything in our world, our universe and beyond. How can we possibly in our small minds understand all of this? Some things we cannot understand until we die and move into the next realm. Why is it so hard for some to believe that our world was created by a being greater than ourselves? Do you really think that it just happened? Look at the perfect order of everything. For me, it is impossible to believe that all of this evolved from nothing. To believe in God, just look around yourself.

God gave us the free will to think for ourselves. He wants us to have faith in Him and to accept Him willingly. I can’t imagine the pain of losing my loved one and thinking that this is it. He is gone forever into darkness? NO! There is life after we leave this mortal shell that we live in.

There is so much more I could say, but I don’t want to preach a sermon. You really need to speak with a pastor and have an open mind. What do you have to lose? .... Linda

I’m so sorry that you are grieving. The loss of a loved one is devastating and the grief process is different for each individual. You may be interested in what Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote about the Five Stages of Grief. I believe these to be true and it takes time to reach Stage 5. You are completely normal in your feelings. Death is so final and it is up to us to dig our way out of the darkness that death can leave behind. I, personally, do not believe that this world is it. I say this for two reasons. First, I believe in God and I believe that He has something bigger and better for us when we leave here. I’ve spent too much time with Him and His Word to not believe. I am a completely different person due to His Saving Grace. Second, I’m in the medical field and I see death often. What happens when the transition begins is awesome! It gives me great hope! Start doing some searching on your own. It takes time but it is totally worth it. Speak to a counselor in regards to grief, others that are experiencing grief as you are, a pastor and just take a peek in the Bible. Open all doors...you may be delightfully surprised by who or what finds you! God bless!!

Thanks, but I don't want any part of a God or Supreme Being that picks and chooses who lives and who dies, and how painfully they die. This not a perfect world and universe. More of a cosmic joke I would say.

Rick, do you really think that there is a supreme being who singles out someone and says "it's their turn and they will suffer as such" and it happens? I believe in a God that is not cruel. We are simply human beings. Bodies wear out...disease happens...accidents happen...and sometimes even our own ignorance can lead to our demise. I know from which I speak and have personally dealt with that guilt!
You ask for us to respect your agnostic approach to life so please respect those of us who do believe. You asked for opinions and that is what you are getting.
Darcie

It's not the end of our consciousness. I know it for sure as am out of those people who happened to go through OBE (out-of-body-experience). In other words, I almost died but was revived. So, everything happened like they describe in witness accounts: I saw my lifeless body on the operating table, heard the voices of doctors, etc.etc.
Somehow this experience changed me, and helped to understand what my husband was going through while dying. I am glad I was present being there for him during that important moment of transition. It was an honor.
When my moment comes, all I want is a dear one sitting there, holding my hand crying and saying loving words while I move "over there".
And yes, I believe that only the body dies, but the spirit (soul, consciousness, whatever you name it) stays.

@babochka: When you have the OBE experience, were you alone or was there someone (meaning other spirits or white light) with you? Do you notice other things too? I'm curious.

Staygolden3 - Actually, I believe some posts are not respecting my Agnostic beliefs, and do feel I am being preached at. I had parents that forced/coerced religious beliefs during my childhood and perhaps as a result am a little more sensitive to it than others. My negative responses immediately followed the posts that I didn't feel respected my beliefs.

My husband suffered a cardiac arrest and was on a vent and sedated with his body temperature cooled for 6 days When he awoke he told us that he saw my mom and his dad who had died some years before that. He said my mom pushed him and told him to go back. When he coded while they put him in the ambulance prior to this conversation I asked my mom to send him back. After he died a medium told my children and I that my mother told him to go back as I wasn't ready. I've spoken with 4 mediums and the things they have told us could not be found out except through my husband who was dead. I believe in God and am Catholic. I have done much reading and searching and have come to my own conclusions. You can only search for yourself and find peace within yourself. I asked myself these questions in the beginning and wanted to know where my husband was. When I got my answers I found some peace. I wish you peace as well

Msbklyn - Thank you for this response, which I found both interesting and hopeful.

Rick.

Rick....I am sorry, but your question at the beginning of this post tells me that your mind is searching for answers, your soul is searching. You are really asking what happens after we die. When I say
‘Perfect Order’, I am speaking about birth and death, the life of plants and animals. There is a divine plan in each thing that God created. I’m sure you have heard all the arguments concerning evolution and creation.

Man brought sin into the world. Man has free will. All these things that happen that you spoke of are not brought on by God. This is a very deep subject. God is LOVE. Pure and simple.

I won’t comment further. I really hope that you would search for answers to your questions. Your soul is seeking. Take care....Linda

Thank you @Msbklyn. This matches up with some of our experiences as well. I have experienced a few, but mostly through my love. She was Catholic as well.

@lindonn: Thanks for reaching out. Not your fault.

@Rick51: In the spirit of sharing, I found the book "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton gave me more hope than any grief books that I have read. Even without considering the accuracy of the "journey" the book has described, is comforting in itself. Just considering there is that possibility it might happen.

@nebby: I know you are getting a little worked up, but don't be a hater. @lindonn is merely saying there is a beginning and an end to everything. It hurt like you know what when it ended, but intellectually you understand the seasons of life.

Maybe this is more to your taste?
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/watch-a-priest-rabbi-and-atheist-smoke-weed-and-talk-religion_us_58ca6bd2e4b00705db4c5525