I am so sorry that you lost your wife. When I lost my husband I didn't want to survive. It will be 3 years in September and I am finally able to say, I have survived. I miss him every day. I woke up this morning missing him but it's not like it was in the beginning. The physical and emotional pain have lessened and I am able to cope now differently. This past weekend I found myself doing so many more things around the house that I had never done before. I want to be able to take care of my self and my home. Before I'd just feel sorry for myself that he wasn't here to do these things. One day, sometimes one moment at a time is how I got here. ALOT of tears, heartache, prayers. But I can say, it can be done. Always missing them but I know now it is possible to survive. I wish you peace. Marybeth

I use to do the same exact thing that you are doing, I would cry til I thought my eyeballs must have fallen out and then think I surely can't cry anymore but yep cried, cried, cried and cried. My words probably sound hollow but eventually I cried less and less but the first year was tough. We have all been there but things will eventually turn around, you will smile again and cherish your memories of your wife. Your heart is broken but it will heal, although I think mine is like patchwork now. Will say a prayer for you, and know that I am sending positive thoughts your way. Take time to breathe, be calm, rest and if the tears flow, so be it, sometimes I think they are healing tears. Peace be with you. Jan.

You are in the stage where the numbness is starting to wear off. You think sometimes that the extreme pain will never end. I just made the 7 month mark of losing my precious husband. I depend on the words of the people that have gone farther on this path than I have. I still cry , I still hurt and somedays are just bad. What I have started to do is think of him and our life together and I smile. A smile has replaced some of the tears. I will miss him always as you will miss you beloved wife. The sharp edges get a little softer. It is hard to believe that right now I know I didn't. Come here as often as you need and share what you are feeling. I wish you a better today than your yesterday, Angela

I understand totally. My husband passed away 7 weeks ago. I put a happy face on in front of my family, then go home and cry. I sometimes think I’m crying more? Married so many years,, I pray for strength everyday and to someday cry less. Bless u all

Bayoured has it right, the numbness and shock is going away, to be replaced by that searing pain. Do you have continued appointments with a bereavement counselor or reached out to a local bereavement group? Your last two sentences sum it up, you need to meet and talk with a group of men and women who have walked in your shoes for support and connection. Unexpected deaths are hard to cope with, My wife of 36 years died 8 months ago after a long illness, but was an unexpected death at the time, my heart goes out to you. Typing this brings some tears, then a quiet smile of loving memories. I think that’s as good as it will get for me, and that is fine at this stage of my life..

I am sorry for your loss, but glad you found us. I couldn't fathom how I could have so much water in me judging by how much I cried out. Eventually, I started getting muscle cramps which turned out to be from dehydration! After that, I took a bottle of water everywhere and drank extra throughout the day. Small silly things like that help. Do try and drink extra water - it will help and will help prevent some of the foggy thinking that goes with the grief exhaustion.

I was widowed at 50, my husband Cliff was only 55 when a heart attack took him. Even all my much older friends still had their spouses/partners - there were no other widows in my circle. There was no one I could relate to until I found this group. It helped me to rebuild my life, and I hope it helps you, too. Welcome.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-Community Leader

Hello,
Your loss is so raw. Just do whatever you need to do to make it bearable right now. If that means crying or yelling or just having long conversations with your love, just do it. You have to let these emotions out. But please take comfort in knowing that it will get bearable and you will, eventually, smile when you remember your wife. I am at the two year mark and although i have my days still, i honor my husbands memory by trying to live a positive life. Hang in there, you are not alone.

I'm very sorry! We all know what you're going through. I went to a bereavement group and found comfort and friendship. Hope Hospice has a group that meets weekly. Perhaps you may try going to a meeting. it will help. Wishing you strength and peace. Hugs, Dolores

So sorry for your loss. You have many here to talk to and that have an understanding of you grief. Never knew I had so many tears. My heart breaks for you. Come in here to vent or just read others stories and know that you are not alone. Take care -Kim

So sorry for your loss. The grief train will take you in many different directions and stir up emotions you never knew you had. Glad you found DS. Being here helps connect with others in many ways. Some are new like you and can directly speak to your immediate feeling and some here like me are a bit further down the road. Either way I hope you find support, friendship and the platform you need to know you are not alone and can express anything you need to as much and you want. As others have said take care of yourself and try to stay hydrated. I lost my husband in October 2014. My pain is still here but DS and the friends I've made here are my lifeline. Hugs to you

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly 7 yrs ago. That first year was hell. I cried a lot and you think you are going crazy. I joined a grief group at hospice. It was free and you did not have to have used hospice to go there. It helped me a lot. Found out I was not going crazy cus a lot of others were feeling the same way. It's your body going through the grieving. It does get better in time. It took me about 2 yrs to even start dating. I have not dated now in a yr only because a decent man is hard to find. But that is another story. If I got through losing my husband unexpectedly, you can do it too. One day at a time....

I also cry myself to sleep and most of the day I sit in a chair and cry. I miss him so much, 39 years married, I want him here with me

I am sorry about your loss. I lost my wife of 37 and 1/2 years on June 21, 2017. It was devastating as you can understand but I have just taken one day at a time. I attended an eight week support group called "Grief Share". The groups are available nation wide and can be located on their web site by the same name.
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At age 68 the prospect of my meeting someone and loving again is much less that of some one your age. .Your statement about being able to love again is also a factor with me. I can not imagine enduring the experience of loving and losing some one again. It is still frightening for me to ponder having such an experience. I see widowers in the movies break through the pain and love again but I have to remind myself that those are movies.
I am familiar with people who have loved again but they had a bumpy road to travel with social pressures from family, friends and associates.

I would like one day to be able to see beyond the pain and fears and to love again..I wish the same fate for you.
Be encouraged in the thought that we are not the first ones to travel this road.

My condolences to you. I lost my husband 3 yrs. ago. It’s still seems like yesterday. Six months later I lost my brother. That did me in. Trying to deal with my husband loss and my brother. I thought the crying would never stop. I still cry, but not as much. Our anniversary was yesterday.....so yes I cried. My husband was my world. I loved being his wife. I miss him everyday and there is not a day that I don’t think of him. I pray a lot...a lot. And he hears me. I ask for comfort to sleep and get though my days and he gives it to me. God is who I lean on everyday. Take it day by day and sometimes minute by minute...

I lost my husband September 2, 2015, almost 3 years ago and I just kept busy. Prostate Cancer that took over his body and life in a 2 year span. I feel like I have no interests without him. There is so much I could be doing: going for a walk, clean house and yard, but just no enthusiasm. No get up and go gusto. Ugh, where do I find the enthusiasm and interest in doing anything?