Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi All,
I live in England as most of you know, and currently we have been asked to stay at home as much as possible because of the corona virus. Anyone in a risk category - that's anybody over 70 or who has an underlying health condition like diabetes, asthma, etc. - have been told to stay home from this weekend for 12 weeks. That's basically from the first day of spring to the first day of summer, an entire season. Likewise, my family in California are now in 3 weeks of shelter-in-place requirements. I know Florida is beginning to head to restrictions, too.
Being isolated without there being a national emergency is bad enough, but the added stress and anxiety of this crisis is going to make it worse for many. My first big crisis on my own after Cliff died was a hurricane (I was still living in Florida at the time), which ironically hit on his birthday. It was terribly stressful as it was up to me to keep us all safe whereas it used to be the two of us working together, and it hitting us on his birthday didn't help. Somehow I muddled through it, and I think he would have been proud of how I and our sons handled it.
I had no power nor internet with the hurricane. At least this time we still have the internet and can support each other here. If you are feeling extra stressed because of Covid-19 and/or if you are having to self-isolate or shelter-in-place, remember we're here.
I'm keeping busy with hobbies, reading, and I think I'll get a head start on my spring cleaning. I'm staying in touch with friends and family by phone and email. Several people close to me are in the risk category which is creating a lot of anxiety here.
How are you holding up? Are you being affected yet? What are you doing to cope? Maybe we can help each other through this.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
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Today I feel grateful. Grateful for my dog Blue (Blue Jean Baby Queen, Prettiest girl I've ever seen). Grateful I'm still kickin'. Grateful I'm finally taking responsibility for my health. Grateful I own my home. Grateful for good friends and neighbors who watch over me. Grateful to God for His everlasting love and patience with me. Grateful I survived the 10 years since my wife of 30 years...
I am doing as you are-- keeping in touch by phone or chatting online. This does not help with the loneliness that does sometimes creep up on me. I pray we all stay well and safe. Now at the store the shoppers are coming in with Playtex gloves and masks. They are thinking better safe than sorry. Hugs, Kim
I'm in Ohio and our governor canceled voting for the primaries which was to take place today (an historical, unprecedented action). I'm not sure when the polls will reopen in light of the virus. We can, however, vote absentee if we prefer to avoid the polls later on.
Our daughter is a teacher, and all our schools are closed, so students are performing their studies via the internet. Most all restaurants are closed, but they are serving food if you order using the drive-thru. Daycares remain open for the time being, but who knows for how long. Our places of worship are temporarily closed. Groceries remain open, but the shelves are picked pretty clean with a run on most all staples. They are doing their best, though.
Who could have imagined such measures, but I'm grateful for the quick actions to uncertain consequences. Colleges and universities are closed, and the students have been asked to vacate the dorms. The "vintage" population have been asked to remain at home as well as those with health issues.
One of our granddaughters (who is expecting our first great-grandchild) is a nurse, our grandson is an EMT/fireman, and another granddaughter (pre-med) who works in a medical lab. Needless to say, I am concerned for their safety.
One thing I do know is that our God is in control, and that is a great comfort to me.
Please take care as you self-isolate. Isn't it wonderful that we have the ability to post, text, call, email, etc., whenever the mood hits us or the isolation is more than we want to deal with at times! Blessings to you, my friend. TJ
Our local elections were supposed to be in May. They have been postponed for a year. That's a pretty extreme postponement.
We're hitting shortages of some meds already. You can't get paracetamol (that's acetaminophen) anywhere as people are stockpiling it.
It's getting surreal...
I put some music on - the Rolling Stones first, the really old stuff that is still great - and worked on a crochet project. I felt so much better. I also made a nice dinner (teriyaki chicken with garlicky green beans).
I am working on getting a handle on my anxiety. I broke down and just cried yesterday. Sometimes it all gets to be too much and that is sometimes all I can do about things around me over which I have no control.
Some years ago, my cousin had a fiftieth birthday party. As a joke, someone gave her 50 pot holders. Her daughter-in-law didn't know what pot holders were! She *guessed* one could use them to take things out of the microwave.
We did think ahead to ask an elderly neighbor if we could pick anything us for her, Only one thing, and it turns out it was in stock at the supermarket.
Everybody asks you if there’s anything they can do at the beginning but that’s slowly peters off
Trying to keep busy around the house and going for walks
The whole thing is scary and doubly anxiety inducing because we have no control over it, and what choices we normally have are curtailed. At least if I can make something for charity, it will make feel a little less powerless and useless.
I am trying to stay in touch with family and friends. We are all in the same boat, just under different levels of restrictions at present. It is hard right now.
Love and Hugs,
Martha