Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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jerseydebbie 07/06/2011

I guess I've mentioned throughout my responses how I have returned to counseling. Took a bit of a backslide, thought I could handle it by myself, but found I really needed to see someone who understands ME. And that is my dear counselor, whose door is always open.

It was apparent by our conversations that I was suffering from a bit of depression again, and asked if I wanted to return to taking meds. Answer? No. I'm always going to have a backslide, sort of the twenty steps ahead and five back scenario. And I don't want to run for meds everytime I feel low.

A study was done regarding exercise versus drugs for depression. My counselor suggested I do some sort of exercise three to four times a week. I love to swim, but often can't make it to our community pool. My second love is walking.

So, last night I go home, feed the cat, go through the mail, and don my sneakers for a good walk before dinner. Guess what? I felt like a million bucks and slept like a baby. Wow! What a difference 20 minutes makes.

deleted_user 07/06/2011

Thanks for sharing...I used to walk everyday and stopped a year ago, and I have felt a difference. I want to start up again and I know that I will feel better. I also do swimming, and I always feel good when I exercise. I think the endorphins work like magic. Have a great walk tonight, and again thanks for the motivation. I will don my sneakers and walk also. Hugs~Shelley

jerseydebbie 07/06/2011

Wish we could walk together. You and I have so much in common.

heartsick1 07/06/2011

Had this conversation just last night with my grief counciler last night. I use to walk 6 days a week before Phil got sick last summer. I can't seem to stay motivated I start to exercise and then quit after a week or so.

deleted_user 07/06/2011

I know Debbie, you are my example and I love you for it.

Judymc04 07/06/2011

My son is on me constantly to start working out again but I just don't have the incentive. Bill & I used to go all of the time and it just brings back alot of memories. But, from your testimony, many I will make myself start going again. He said once I start, I will crave that as a stress reliever.

laurabp 07/06/2011

I agree that walking is often the best, cheapest, most effective exercise. I try to walk at least 20 minutes a day; if I cannot get out, I just walk around my apartment. I find it does make a difference in how I feel. laurabp

jerseydebbie 07/06/2011

Oh, trust me. You'll crave it.

Nicker07 07/06/2011

I climb on my horse, and ride him up the hill....
And hug him all the way up and down.. Does that count?

deleted_user 07/07/2011

I think any kind of exercise counts. I can't walk very far anymore with bad knees and hips. Takes everything I have just to go up and down the stairs to my home business. 20 to 30 round trips on the stairs a day and I can barely walk by the time I go to bed.
Mowing is my favorite kind of exercise. Yes, I am using a riding mower but on my hills, it is a workout just keeping the damn thing from turning over. Now, I find myself scared of turning over in certain places that I was never scared of before Bill passed. I guess I had more nerve then because I knew he was here to take care of me if I got hurt. I won't even go on the one hill anymore, I am scared to death of it.

deleted_user 07/07/2011

I've read the same. It would appear that to many people are locked into the mindset of taking drugs for everything. Of course, I take the occasional valium, but it's not a regular thing. I started a very small exercise semi-routine recently and it helps a little. I had a rather bad night last night, up at 1 am looking at the tv, wishing I had my wife back. It's a reality we all must face...Peace to all

edithbathgate 07/07/2011

I took bupropion for 3 months after J. died and then went off it. I agree - I don't want to depend on a pill. I also try to get out and do some physical work each day. Today It will be setting up for a family picnic on Sunday. The sweating and and straining help with depression, poor sleep and all! It beats feeling low all the time.

deleted_user 07/07/2011

This is something I need for a couple of reasons. Its so gosh darn hot here lately that I either need to go to the mall or use the basement.
Walking surprised me years ago. I was heartbroken due to a romance breakup and had to walk to my job. Often, I was a few minutes late so had to walk quickly to be on time. I realized a few days after the breakup, that I could be weeping at the beginning of the walk and feeling far better by 20 minutes later.

Today, of course, its just doing it.
But I agree, at this point, I would prefer excercise vs medication. I think too many of us are told we should be taking medication when it should be our choice.
I am neither for it or against medication, I may decide I should try it.......but I want to be the one to decide.

This was a great topic.

driveler 07/07/2011

Hi Debbie, So glad that walking helped. I always read how good exercise is for EVERYTHING that ails you, and I would have to admit that it makes a major difference.
My little sister and I have a challenge going, we are both doing Jillians 30 Day Shred every day. We are on day 27 and I cannot believe the difference it is making. Not only am I losing weight, and inches, I have way more energy and I don't hurt anymore when I get out of the car after the drive home from work (I used to barely be able to move).
The hardest part for me has always been the "just doing it" part. this commitment to my sister (who live 500 miles away) keeps me making it happen.

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