Even though I am only 9 months into my journey, content is how I'm describing my life. A lot of the anxiety I had in the beginning has faded away and I'm learning that I can handle a lot of things as they come up.

At this point, I can't see myself in another relationship. Brian was sick for so long that I had considered the "what ifs" before he passed. I consider myself a very independent person and I can see that as I get older I will become more set in my ways.

I don't consider myself happy and I don't know when that will happen, if ever. I know I'm settling into my new life. I've chosen to stay in my home and recently went through a very successful refinance. I've put all the repairmen I need into my new phone so that I won't have to try to find their numbers in the phone book when I need them.

I think the word "content" fits my life at the moment and I hope that continues.

Nessie from KY

I am 4 years and yes I do. I still feel married. I am living and doing everything to make my life content but I have no desire to meet anyone new. I am as good as I can be without him but I also do not ever feel happy but I am okay! I however have learned that except for DS I keep it all to myself and shrug off comments from family and friends.

At 2 1/2 years I am just plain lonely. If it happens and I am not seeking it out then I guess it was meant to be. I am open to a new relationship and I think that Jim would want me to be happy. The thought of a new relationship scares me. If it doesn't happen it doesn't. .Whether I like it or not Jim is gone to a better place and our marriage is over. I may have many more years to live....

kynessie, I am very close to you in timing. At 10 months, I have taken over control of my life and have managed some situations that I would have gladly turned over to Wayne in the past. Since he cannot help me anymore, I have had to help myself. I absolutely do not want another relationship right now and suspect that I never will. I do not feel lonely because I have plenty of friends and family to share life with me. I just feel, when you have had the best, how can anyone else come close? It would not be fair to me or the other person. I am still married to Wayne and believe that won't change. Take care, Claire

My darling used to say, "I'm going to spoil you so bad nobody else will want you." I think he succeeded! Anyway, I don't want anybody...

I am only and one year, but I know what you mean. I find that friends are starting to talk about how I need to find someone, and honestly I get very upset about that. I still love my husband. I have always been independent. I have done some work around my house, hired a contractor and felt content with my decisions. I don't think I would ever find someone like my Phil and I don't want to.

Debbie, I am at 3 years 4 and 1/2 months and feel as you do. I still feel "married" and have no desire for another relationship. I feel at this point in time, I will be alone forever. For now, I am content. Barbara

I am not quite at 11 months...and the year has been a roller-coaster of ups and downs and changes...but yes...I can stay I have reached a level of content...new beginnings...another chapter in life...



(((hugs)))

Carla

I'm brand new to this, so I probably really don't belong on this thread, but at one month/two weeks, I keep remembering what Vern and I used to say to each other so many times over our 48 years: that if anything happened to one of us, the other should go on with their life and if lucky enough to find someone who loves them, it's okay.

Right now that eats at me, because (like Edith and I'm sure many others of you) I was spoiled rotten by this man. The bar is so high that I can't conceive of anyone else even coming close to meeting it. Still, it haunts me...both the men in my life are gone now within a month of each other and I often wonder if I'll ever be able to relate to another man.

I'm having moments of feeling fairly 'okay' with where I see my life going...I'm finding that I can do things I was afraid I'd never be able to do with him gone. I've taken care of all the business that has to be taken care of at a time like this, I even mended the back fence. Still, I know I'm now a work in progress for real and hopefully, I'll come to a place similar to where many of you are now...able to go on alone yet contented (or relatively) with my lot. You people are all so very special. Thanks for listening, even though I'm a "newbie".

(((((hugs to you all))))) Marilyn

I'm at almost 4 yrs. and still feel married. I have no desire to meet anyone and don't think I ever will. I can't describe how I feel as content, but have adjusted to this life as best I can. I spend a lot of time with my son and his family, keeping the grandchildren. I take short trips with friends. I enjoy my 2 cats. That is basically my life now and I am able to enjoy things again. I still long for my old life but always will. We do the best we can and learn to laugh and enjoy some things in life again. Take care, Sandra

Well for me being alone until I die I am not sure I like.

I too feel he is gone, and therefore being married to him is over but I do not think another relationship is for me either except again I just do not want to be alone and lonely - it would be nice like I tell close friends if I knew someone who I could go do things with HE goes home and I go home thats that....SIGH if only that simple.

I don't think I'm content at 16 months. Just trying to get on with life and make something of it. Moving house and moving on is taking all my energy right now. I've come to a sort of comfortable existence, but not happy or content as yet.

Like Dragonstar, I want to grab at life and take risks, do things I've never done like go on an African safari or a cruise.

As far as another relationship, I too feel sick at the mere thought of it. But, I also don't think I'd like to spend the rest of my life alone, so I'm just "keeping an open mind". I find that works with a lot of things I'm resistant to. Just keep the mind open and see what happens.

That being said, I still feel married to David in my heart. Still wear my wedding rings and people still address me as Mrs.
Hugs

I'm not sure what "content" is right now for myself.

I know that I am strong. i know that I am independant. I know I can, and will make it on my own. Not sure though that that is content. Still trying to figure that one out.

I have family who I love, I have friends who I love, and I have DS which I love, and gives me comfort, strength friendship, and love.

Since Greg passed, I know too well that life is so very short, and I want to grab every bit of it, knowing that he WANTED so much to live, and his body just didn't agree with him, so I want to do all that he would have wanted to do. Appreciate all the little things in life that matter SO MUCH. I want new experiences, meet new people, and touch as many as have touched both Greg and I in our life.

I will always love Greg, and he will always be in my heart for the rest of my days. I'm not looking for anyone, but I too, have an open mind. If i hadn't had an open mind after my divorce, I would have never met Greg, and would have never experienced the love of my life. So an open mind yes to any and all new experiences, and people down this road.

I think if you are content, that's all you can ever ask for in this life. And how you walk your path, what gives you comfort, what helps you get up everyday and smile, is what is right for you. However anyone chooses to walk their path. Meet somone or not, move or not, volunteer or not, anything you do that gives comfort, brings contentment, and all are ok as long as the person who is walking that path is ok with their decisions. that's all that matters.

HUGS Diane

I miss the companionship of a woman.

I'm only at 10 months and I certainly can't claim to be content, but another relationship is the furthest thing from my mind. I still feel married. I miss my husband so much. I miss having someone in my life to go places with, do things with, I miss that one on one companionship you have when you are married, but at the same time it's hard to picture doing those things with anyone else, it just wouldn't be the same. I hope at some point I get to the point that I feel content or something close to it.