Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband passed away almost 7 weeks ago. He became ill in January 2020. I was by his side taking care of him through several hospital stays, surgeries and treatments. Two weeks after his passing, I was cleaning out his business records and I found a picture of him with another woman and she was kissing him. He was not wearing his wedding ring. The picture is dated 1994. Then I found emails on his laptop to and from other women - very suggestive emails; even a very inappropriate picture sent to him by another woman. From what I can piece together, my husband had been on dating websites since 1996. He was communicating with another woman as recently as November 2019! We'd been married for 44 years. I feel like the last 26 years of our marriage was a lie. I am devastated and my heart is broken in a million pieces.
I can totally understand the hurt and confusion. It will be hard but like some of the others have posted...he stayed with you, he loved you and had shared 44 years with you. Him having financial issues too meant his life was pretty complicated and so the women may have been a distraction. He shielded you from all of this perhaps because he loved you. There is a difference between love and lust.
I know right now anger could be easier to cling to then sorrow...whatever it is that weighs you down...don't let it hold you there too long. Hold on to good things and remember you are still here to live and maybe love again...
Sending you healing and closure
WR xxx