Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Coming home

tikibell1
tikibell1
It has been over 7 years now. I really do not recognize my life anymore it has changed so much. I no longer have our home but instead live in an over 55 apartment complex. Brand new and so nice but not home I moved here almost 3 years ago have planted flower gardens, decorated and did my best to make it mine. My daughter lives a few blocks away I am in walking distance from a job I love but I still do not feel at home. Everynight I put my key in the lock dread takes over and I walk in put my pjs on and go to bed. I have learned to live alone I am okay with that kind of getting used to having things my own way. I love when people visit but after a short time I silently wish them away! I am not unhappy but I am not happy. Missing my husband is not even the whole issue anymore. I do miss him but I miss me too. My doctor says exercise more I walk a lot but maybe he is right and walking is not enough. Guess I just needed to vent, read it and hope I understand me better :)
silverfoxwife
silverfoxwife
I am at 2.5 years mark, have the same feeling as you. I moved to a cottage at my daughter's place. It's new, cute and I had it built but it is still missing something, my husband. We used to carpool to and from work. Now I am driving home in the dark alone and eat whatever is in the fridge for dinner, not really taking care of myself. I don't exercise consistently.

One evening I was riding with my daughter's family to dine out. I look outside the car window and saw the silhouette of the trees. I realized I used to draw trees and that part of me was missing. I had stopped doing art projects. I have awaken to the realization to try to be me again. My husband would have wanted me to enjoy life again.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
Hi there, good to hear from you. It's good to vent and you came to the right place. It's good you have made some changes to your surroundings and I'm glad you are learning to enjoy your independence. The first milestone for me was the remote control with I controlled, but would have exchanged it for him back.

Why not try your artwork again? Try whatever you feel would be interesting. I learned to appreciate solitude, but we need more than that to be happy. Not happiness from someone else, but happiness from within. Try away and keep what works and throw away what doesn't. Wishing you well. Sharon
tikibell1
tikibell1
Artwork was my passion Sharon I wanted to be an artist but my Mom thought it a silly idea back in the day :) I was going through the closet just this morning and found so many projects I started since he died but I never seemed to finish anything. I dug them all out am going to try and finish each one this winter maybe next Christmas they will be gifts to my kids and grands! I try not to come here to vent but just to read and maybe be of some help. Just needed to get it out somewhere. Sometimes the loneliness and stress takes over but I will keep moving forward slowly but surely.