Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

clothes

tikibell1
tikibell1
I have a new friend she is very verbal and has no filter but maybe she is what I need right now. We went out to dinner a couple of times and she bluntly said no wonder you are depressed girl all you ever wear is black. I came home looked in my closet and sure enough everything in my closet was predominately black what wasn't was dark brown or navy. I sat down at the computer and ordered me some clothes of my favorite colors aqua and yellow. I don't know when all the colors left my wardrobe to be replaced by darkness. Thank goodness she cared enough to enlighten me. Maybe my depression led me I don't know but I need new clothes and a better outlook and she shook me a little made me realize I need to take some positive steps. I have missed me and though I know the me before his death no longer exist I need to bring back a part of her that still needs to live. No more dark colors I bagged them up!
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
I had so many black clothes that when Cliff died I wore black for mourning for 40 days with no problem. Everyone around me was relieved when I showed up again "in color"! I got rid of most of my black clothes, and I avoid buying anything black now. And when I am feeling really low, I pull something out of the closet in bright colors to put on - it's funny, but it works. I even have some special silly socks - bright yellow with daisies on them - they are my "happy socks" - hard to be blue wearing those! :)

Love and Hugs...
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
My problem, everything I own is black, grey, navy. I have always worn these colors, my husband wore black. If I threw out my black, I would be naked. And at work I had to wear navy and khaki. I bought a new skirt and top, for church. Guess what colors?...black skirt and royal blue top. I can't get myself out of those colors. Colors make my skin tone sallow.
jewells1
jewells1
I am now adding in some color. But I feel safer? in cloths that let me pass with out notice in groups.

Sandee, try some pastels, or jewell tones, they have a warmer under tone. All my Blue items have to have a tough of aqua in them, cinnamon instead of burgundy.
SmittyJones
SmittyJones
You may be right. I have always looked at black, brown, or any dark colors as "gloomy and sad" so I have reds, yellows, blues, greens, pinks, etc. I love bright colors. I have some black pants but I still wear a bright top with it so it's not so gloomy. I'm glad you got some cheerful colors and I hope they help! I bet they do!!!!
michaelbmanning
michaelbmanning
I have a black dress and some black pants, but I did not wear black to my husband's funeral. I wore purple and bright red nail polish. I am not the mourning dress black clothes kind of girl.

Maggie
Community Leadermarjoe
marjoe
Good for you, Tiki! I find I've been veering toward cammo and leopard prints...I don't know what's up with that, I just like it. I paint my toes hot pink in the summer. It makes me feel good. Whatever helps - do it!
handg
handg
My husband who was color blind and did not care what colour I wore, was adamant that he did not like me to wear black. When he passed I informed everyone in our immediate family that I did not want to see any black at his memorial mass and they respected this. DD bought beautiful bright blue pants that I know hubby would have loved to see her in as he was very proud of the way she looked. I found a top that match my kaki colored pants and added a bright scarve . It made me feel stronger while I know that wearing black would have made me feel gloomy.
tikibell1
tikibell1
Some of the clothes I ordered arrived today and I tried them on it is very hard to wear the colors but they look nice and I am going to force myself to keep them and wear them. I am flying up to Ohio to visit my daughter and go to my grandsons high school graduation. My first time to fly alone well to be honest go anywhere alone. My first flight alone and in bright colors who know what might be next for me. Climbing out of my shell is so very hard! But I am kind of starting to enjoy it!
darjar0
darjar0
I remembered when I was working and someone made a comment how I needed to add color and pattern to my wardrobe. I did and it was fun. Fun to experiment with different colors and different patterns. I found I loved pink and flowers the best. Who knew ?
I'm happy that you're keeping the clothes. The first time someone compliments you you'll wonder what took you so long :)
Livingbyfaith
Livingbyfaith
I've saved a few things, but gave most away. Too hard to see and smell and feel. I wear a few jackets and shirts. I have the screensaver on my computer with his picture, think I might need to change this too. Very difficult.
barbarame
barbarame
I never even thought of wearing dark colours. Thought that was no longer done. Have a pair of black pants and a black shirt - worn with bright tops. LOVE colour and bling and wear a lot of both.
LostAndFeelingAlone
LostAndFeelingAlone
Glad to hear your breaking out! Me, I like dark colors. I love black because it goes with any other color. It seems I wear the color I am in the mood for. Pastel colors when I need something different in my day. Dark colors when I am secure and serious. I have a medium green colored shirt on today.