I also closed my land line phone down, I only kept it because my husband couldn't use the small phones after his stroke. I called Vonage and after 7 yrs they had the questions in why I was cancelling the service. I am trying to cancel everything the resemble the past. I need to move next looking for a condo

Ruby, I hated that whole process - it felt like I was erasing Cliff bit by bit. Some places were very gracious about it, and some places were just plain cold to me when I went through it. You really find out who has decent customer service people when you become a widow! I had to close out Cliff's business accounts, too, and that was a hassle, and they had a million questions about his death. Like it was any of their business! Ugh...

Do you need to move? It is common to want to move but usually not a good idea to make big changes and decisions for a year. Just wondering...

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Taking care of those things is hard. I remember sitting in the bank and crying. I had to do that very soon.
Other things, I had more leeway.

you have my sympathies.
Barbara.

This is something that really surprised me. If Johnny my husband was the Primary on an account, I had to close that account and open a new one in my name. The most bizarre thing I encountered was they would ask me to put Johnny on the phone. One huge bill collector kept saying they couldn't let me see the specifics of the bill because it was not my bill! I knew this bill was a double bill then after I sent a. death certificate, they sent me the exact same "double" bill. (3rd time)This time I told them that they would have to get payment from John because since they did not want to give me any info, I was not obligated to pay it. I did this all very pleasantly and finally got someone to tell me it was resolved and I did not owe further money. Have found many of John's bills were duplicates that already had been paid. I hope you are watching out for this. As a person who,pays bills on time, I had "almost" written a check because I was vulnerable. Good luck. Martha Jean

It's the same for us guys to. I had to have my wife's name removed from certain items and had to supply that stinking certificate. Getting it in the first place was an unneccessary jumping thru hoops. Funny this world has all kinds of social services for folks in need. But very little compassion or patients for those of us going thru this. Take care.
Peace, TIm

I am at 8 months today since my wife passed.

I agree with Tim. I hate that death certificate. I have only
glanced at it one time and could not even finish reading
it. .

All of you that have taken those steps to removed loved
ones from bank accounts, credit / debit cards, mobile
phone service, etc., are much braver than me.

I just can't do it yet. I just can't bring myself to take those
steps. Maybe it is acceptance I am dodging or maybe it
is reality or the finality of it. I just can't bring myself to take
the steps yet. I know I cannot terminate her mobile phone
as it is her voice on the messaging device. After 8 months,
I still cannot call her number as I think my head would
explode. But at least I know it is there if I want to call it and
hear her voice.

I have numerous videos that include her that were made
over the years. I have watched only part of one of them. I
watched it and it took me almost a week to get my head
back together somewhat. So, I am letting them sit until I
know my head is back together again ( if ever ) and I shall
be prepared to watch them and see her walking, talking.
moving and laughing again.

Meanwhile, I am going to leave everything as it is until I
feel I can handle it.

Blessings to all -

Darrell

Yes closing things seems like wiping out the last remnants of their existence here. The death certificate is the most profound for it is saying it in the most official way, this person is dead and they are never ever coming back. It's horrible and just too sad for us.

Ruby - Gad. I hated doing all of the changing over. I felt like I had a elephant on my chest every time, like the tears were stuck while I went through it, stone faced. Hugs to you for slogging through it.

And Darrell? Not to worry. Almost 8 years and just last week I had to take the death certificate to ATT to change my phone plan (which has been under Joe's name all this time). Gah. Joe still gets lots of mail and spam, though. In some computers, he still lives. Awesome. He'll probably be getting mail 25 years from now.

I have always done our taxes myself, with Marylou & I filing joint...I was very surprised to find this year that we could file joint and I could take her dependents deduction for the whole year, although she transitioned to the Spirit Realm in June, and we only had half of last year together...she turned 65 last year, which greatly enhanced our (my) standard deduction.
That was all a benefit this year... but hell is going to come next year, where I will be forced by your-favorite-uncle-and-mine to call myself "single"...when in my heart and soul I don't feel "single."
10 months and I have yet to close our joint checking account...when I donate to Marylou's favorite veteran's charities,
the joy of forging her signature on the check brings me closer to her for a short while...that is going to end later this year, when I relocate to Oklahoma to keep the parting promise I made to Marylou, to stay close to our daughters and grandchildren.
But it will be more than worth it to give up that small detail, once I am actively keeping my promise to her.
I don't know if I will ever stop leaving the seat down. (Just in case)

I'm Reading the comments and sobbing. It's been 18 months for me and I can't get past it. I bought a condo and I'm in the process of cleaning out our home. It hurts so bad to be leaving. I feel like I'm living my life behind. Moving from a very large home to a small condo means getting rid of everything we had together end it just hurts so much. My daughter died Easter Sunday so I'm coping with that also. It's just hard very hard. I feel for all of you. Good luck. Linda

I am in the process of doing this. A few weeks after he passed, I had an almost uncontrollable urge to organize and get things in order, so I started with his credit card and went on from there (with lots of help and support from my sister). Unfortunately, I still do not have access to all his accounts and it is unbelievable what some companies will make you do to change a name on an account, submit a form, etc. Some have treated me like I am the very first person to call them to tell them my husband died. It is definitely true that you can gauge a company's customer service by the way they treat you in this situation. Believe it or not, when I called Social Security to apply for the death benefit, the woman I spoke with never once even offered her condolences!

It has now been 8 weeks, and sometimes I do regret, just a little, changing the accounts into my name. When that phone bill arrives in the mailbox with my name, not his, on it, it is so permanent. But I guess I handled it the way I needed to, which I know is different for everyone. I have not been able to bring myself to get rid of his car yet, which is foolish because I am still paying off the loan - but I can't bear the thought of pulling into the driveway and not seeing his car parked there.

My husband and I had Costco cards. Even had to bring a copy of death certificate into store so they could close out his card. They said he will always remain on their computer system linked to my account.

Still carry my wife's discount card for the local grocery, at least there isn't a name on it.

So many things left to clean up & clean out, hard to tackle those projects.