I'm glad you were able to do this; I know it gives you a good feeling to know that isn't "looming ahead" now, waiting to be done.

I hope you have family and/or friends to be with on Thanksgiving. I have family, but it isn't working out for us to be together this year. I have 3 invitations from friends, so I accepted one and feel very blessed to be included.

My husband (of 50 yrs.) has been gone 3 yrs. now. I want you to know that the "searing pain" of the first year does end -- of course, a dull ache remains.
Wishing you peaceful days - Doye

It does get better, but slowly. Good for you for cleaning the room. Happy Thanksgiving!

Autumn, that is such a HUGE accomplishment, and you DID IT.

I hope you are so very PROUD of yourself. It takes STRENGTH to do all that you have done. At his early I was not able to do what you did. you have my admiration!!!

wishing you a peaceful day, and warm wishes for a peaceful tomorrow

Diane

Well I would say you accomplished a very difficult task. My husband also passed at home. I wish so much someone would have told me about the pillow storage. His bed was a hospital bed and it was stripped completely and everything washed before I knew it. I long for something with his scent to hold in my arms. Peace to you down this long path.

This may sound stupid.....but when I change the bedding on our bed, I spray a squirt of his cologne on his pillow....that way it smells like he is still there when I am sleeping. :)

Catherine,

I spray his cologne in the closet in the mornings sometimes. We have a walk in closet, and he used to do that right after getting dressing in the mornings. One day i walked by the closet, and smelled that cologne smell out of nowhere! I have never smelled it again, but now I spray it from time to time when I want to feel him close.

NOT silly at all

HUGS Diane

Good for you to be able to get that far. It's so hard isn't it? My husband died at Hospice House two weeks ago but I have his pillow that he used to rest his feet on, and that's all. He slept in another room because of his hospital bed and equipment and all I've been able to do is throw away all pills, lotions etc anything that reminded me of how very sick he was. I'm going to wear his socks, very comfy. I found his necklace which he couldn't wear for a long time and now I'm wearing it.

crb71 - I wear his necklace I gave him for Christmas last year....plus, I I got rid of all the reminders of him being sick right away too. I actually called the medical supply place and insisted they pick up the hospital bed and oxygen concentrator that day - and my sister-in-law was here and took care of the medications. Everything else, I have left just as it was....I have no reason to change it.

It's a tough job but I'm glad you did it. I'd never heard of spacebags either. I do have his brush and comb which I keep in a special trunk along with some of his clothing, shaving kit, etc. I can still smell him on the comb and brush and it's been almost 17 months.
Sending hugs

It sounds to me like you are honoring your own time line and doing things as they feel right to do. That is very healthy...it is something we all must do. The suggestion to save his pillow was a very wise one. I used to wear my husbands pajamas, coat, shoes around the house wrapped often in the soft blanket that he gave me for Christmas. I didn't wash any of his things...I saved a trunk full of his things that remind me most of him.

The first thing I was able to do (I don't remember when in my time line...but it was when it felt okay to do it) was move my husbands things from his bureau and closet and place them in the basement in a memory room. I created this whole room with his pictures, his things, the trunk (that I now keep in my closet so nothing happens to what is in it). I had lots of pictures upstairs too, but most were in the memory room. That way I could go to it whenever I needed to feel surrounded by his memory.

Some things that I needed to do took weeks, some took months, some took years, some are still not done now. It has been over two and a half years now. Most things are done though now.

The most important thing is to do everything when it feels right for you to do it. At every stage there came a time when I just had to do the next step. Then I knew it was right.

I hate it when people do things that others talk them into only to have regrets later on down the road. We all walk in our own shoes.

Lots of hugs to you....
-Diana

Good for you. I can't say anything that hasn't already been said.