Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Christmas plans

Nicker07
Nicker07
It seems with the loss of our loved ones whether it was just yesterday or years away celebrating with other family members sometimes gets not so friendly and happy.

I wish to remind everyone: just because his family wants it their way - it was your home with him or her that counted before - and whether alone, with a few family or a crowd YOU for YOU need to make it what your heart truly feels because your loved one knows what your heart truly feels and always did.

I am going to open presents with my daughter 50 miles away on Christmas eve, and Christmas Day stay home alone with my dogs, cats, and horses. Watch tv, play video games on computer, read a book, and reminiscing on how things were and how I pray things will work out....

It sounds lonely and sad and parts of it may be but its what I want in my heart and feel good about...regardless....

So please take care of YOU and your true feelings, do not toss them aside for the better of someone else...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am working Christmas eve from 3 to 7;30 pm then home alone, same work hours for Christmas day then to my sons where my daughter will also come when I get off work to have some food and gifts. I volunteered to work so the ones with husbands and little ones at home could have the time with their families. I get to spend time with the patients and that is where I am happiest right now anyway! Spent Thanksgiving the same way. Better than sitting home alone wishing for what I can't have.
inmemoryofhattie
inmemoryofhattie
I just got the nicest call....a friend i was very involved in the local elementary school with for a couple of years called and invited Brendan and me to an Open House on Christmas Eve and to their home for Christmas afternoon......so, I will stop by their house first on my/our way to Meg's and will go and bring a dish on Christmas afternoon...what good luck that this is the year they are "changing it up" too......now my wish to do everything differently, AND to avoid my in-laws is all worked out.....I feel a little tiny bit of happiness and pretty good about this whole new and different scenario.....
missmyhero
missmyhero
I will have some of the children and grand children over on Christmas Eve to exchange gifts and for a meal, then on Christmas Day I will spend the day working at the Homeless Shelter with the people as they open their gifts and stockings. I have set this up every year and in 13 years, I have never seen them open the gifts...so I am looking forward to that. I will also have Christmas dinner with the people that I work with at the shelter.

My children and grand children got the tree and decorated so it is looking like Christmas around here now.

hugs...
-Diana
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for reminding me. I think I remember something about a Christmas Eve activity at church. I'll have to ask around.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Plan to spend Christmas Eve (church & dinner) & Christmas Day with my 2 daughters, son-in-law and 4 grandchildren. I will miss my husband not sitting in "his chair" at their house...maybe I'll sit in it while the kids are opening the gifts on Christmas morning so I don't have to look at it and be reminded that last Christmas he was right there in it!
My grandchildren are the brightest lights in my life and without them I think I would truly be lost and this Christmas would be even harder! Hang in there, Nicker!
Oh, and Carol, where do I sign up for the cruise? Sounds good to me! S.
michaelbmanning
michaelbmanning
This is great. Next Thursday my dad will be here to spend his Christmas break and maybe give me a break as we.. We go to the childrens' mass on Christmas Eve because it is at 5 p.m. for obvious reasons. Christmas day is just me, dad, and the kids with no special plans. I really don't remember much about last Christmas. I was lost. All I know is I want one day to sleep, but that might not happen.

Maggie
deleted_user
deleted_user
Christmas has always been at my house. I would get the tables set-up for family dinner and start the preparations while Bill stayed at the restaurant to close-up. This year, its just me. My older daughter has 2 little ones and a 3rd on the way, my middle daughter is a nurse and is working Christmas Eve and my younger daughter will be here to help me. Christmas Eve i will work at our restaurant hopefully close early and come home and get everything ready for Christmas Day. I have about 25 people coming, I usually get stressed out and call Bill at work a million times complaining. Guess this year I'll be talking to him out loud wherever I am!
flanqtpie
flanqtpie
This is my first Christmas without John. I will be working Christmas Eve and off Christmas Day. Of course all my kids want to be here bright and early. I want to go to the candle light service at my church that morning. For me. I want to have a moment of peace before the chaos of the day. I have children coming over for santa. Then I have a sister that lives 2 hours away, I would love to go see her. Do something different for a change. I had a few moments alone on Thanksgiving Day and really did enjoy them. I don't need a babysitter to manage my day so I won't be unhappy. My John is having the best Christmas ever! He's celebrating in Heaven. I can't be unhappy about that. Hugs N Prayers to you.