Thank you for posting that. This was/is my first Christmas - I hit the 6 month mark on Christmas Day. I don't know how I have got to this point but thanks to my lovely family I made it through Christmas Day and survived.
Wishing you peace in 2009.
Angela

This was my 6th Christmas without my hubby and sometimes it's better sometimes it's worse, but I'm usually just glad to see it over. Can't wait to get through new years and back to routine!!

This is my 15th Christmas without my husband and I still find it difficult but as I look back over all these years I can see how much I healed and how far I have moved ahead in my life without him. I just will never forget the lonliness in those first few years and I realize athough will never stop missing him..I have learned how to live a happy and productive life without him, something that I once believed I would never do. I just am glad that you all found a way to have your holiday, weather for the sake of your children, your family or because your spouse would have wanted you to...it is very important to try to continue to live on,face each special occasion and then realize you did it and you are okay. Hugs to all of you.

THis was my second Christmas, I was still in shock last Christmas but this one hit me square but because of others I actually had a wonderful Christmas. I have some hope that I can live through all of this. THank you for posting

This was my first also. I got through it ok, glad its over tho..Hope everyone came through it ok. Hugs to all.

This was also my first christmas. Seemed like the lonliness was the worst. Through the Grace of God, we survived it. I think because it is such a "family" holiday it was difficult. BUT WE DID IT!!!!! Diann

This was my first Christmas without my husband..Our whole family was feeling the emptiness just didn't feel like Christmas..

I am glad everyone made it through ok. Today would have been my 22 anniversary. Bruce passed on the 29th so I have it all hit me in a 10 day period so I will be glad when the 3rd is over. I am also hanging in just a few more days to get through. In some ways I guess it is good to get it all over at once. Happy New year to all my friends here at DS

This was my first too. I miss my wife very much but I made it through thanks to family and friends and the people here at DS. I want to wish everyone here a HAPPY AND BETTER NEW YEAR! Take Care everyone........

My first also, it was rough. stayed home could not get myself to go anywhere. Cried, remembered Christmas past. Glad it is over.

This was my 2nd year w/out my husband. I would have to admit it was harder than last year. I guess mainly b/c I was still in a state of shock and had the numb feeling last year. But this year it actually hit me that this is what life has given me and it is scarey. I feel this anxiety inside me, that tight feeling within your body that you just can't get rid of. My husbands b-day is tomorrow and I have planned a memorial b-day party in his honor this evening. I felt it neccesary for his family and friends to remember him and I definately can't be alone. I hope being with friends and family it will make it a little more bearable. The children and I will go out for supper tomorrow to my husbands favorite restaurant and enjoy each other and remember him. I have rambled on enough so til next time may you all find love and peace within yourself to make it through this difficult time.

This was the 5th Christmas without my husband and was the 1st year I felt a peace with the holiday & family gatherings. The 1st year, he was gone I think I was still in a fog/shock/denial. The second and third Christmas holidays were even harder. I think it was the reality that he was "really" gone. I got "stuck" in the good memories of Christmas' past and just couldn't be "present" to enjoy Christmas with anyone those 2 years. Last year, my 4th Christmas without him, I went away..just couldn't go through the motions again with my family, his family, married brother & sister-in-laws, etc. It definately has taken me alot of time and I still miss my husband dearly but I did have true moments of enjoyment this year.
Those who hadn't been through the loss of a spouse thought that only the "firsts" would be difficult. I think friends & family expected me to be "over" his loss but for me the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Christmas' were very difficult for me. You're not alone and your are correct. We survived the holidays with help from family, friends and this support group! That in itself is a great accomplishment and we need to be kind and gentle with ourselves. May we all be blessed with peace and joy in the coming New Year.

It is my 2nd, and in some ways, I agree, this is harder. I think it's because I had higher expectations this year - thought I was in a much better place (which in some ways, I am)but, I think others also thought I was further along and so were less solicitous...I find myself at loose ends often, as others carry on with their own lives....and I understand that. My bros-in-law are wonderful (saying "let me know if you need anything") but I hate to always be the one having to ask and making the efforts in keeping in touch...and I know they have their own families...We all need to take care of and nurture ourselves when it feels like there is no one else to do it...

This was my family,s 1st as well, We made it through it was hard for all of us, but we made it the best it could possibly be without my husband, my children's father,and our 5 grandchildren. We are really missing this season it was a very special time for our family always. He get's to celerbrate with Christ this year.

I am so pleased to see so many of you comment on this topic...not everyone has people they can share there feelings with..families want us to be okay because they don't know how to handle our grief..we don't want to let our children see us crying and down and friends and others who never experience this kind of loss and lonliness just don get it...even though they all mean well. It;s very important to be able to vent your feelings and share how sad and difficult it was or even how maybe this year was a little bit better. Everyone here understands and everyone here cares.. I don't need to be here anymore because I am long healed but I am so glad to maybe just help one of you to see a light at the end of a dark tunnel...sharing my story with all of you is in the hopes that you all can see how far I have come over the years and I survived the worse experience of my life. Please keep writing on the post...It may be the only place you can truly express what the holidays were like for you and maybe after you hear others stories you will see that we are all in this together and here to help each other...So much love to all of you