This will be my third Christmas without my wife. My wife loved Christmas. When we lived in New York, we would spend Christmas eve with my family and then drive to New Jersey to spend Christmas day with her family. She would always go overboard with the decorations and she hand made all of the tree ornaments. 6 years ago we moved to North Carolina. We were by ourselves on Christmas. I would cook us a nice gourmet dinner and we watched cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies all day. Relatives on both sides of the family now want me to make the trip to spend Christmas with them. I just couldn't do it. The thought of sitting around the table without my wife and trying to act festive was incredibly depressing. Instead, I went to the cemetery in the morning, spent the rest of the day watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies and cooked myself a nice dinner. I didn't put up any decorations. Also too depressing. No one seemed to understand that this was the best way for me to get through it. Staying by myself and remembering her quietly is what works for me. Find what works for you. If you need to be with family, then be with family. If you need to be alone, then be alone. The holidays are tough enough when you're widowed. Please don't let yourself get talked into doing something you don't want to do. Peace and love to all on this site.