Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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MissinLilBear 08/21/2010

Sometimes it helps to just vent your frustrations, and I know many of us here have had more that our share. Quit now if you are not up for this :-)

I have been dealing with a number of bad turns since my Lil Bear passed away. We had retired early by tapping into her IRA with a 72t plan. When she passed away our monthly checks stopped on the spot. Since we hadnt got around to an estate plan (or even a will) most of our accounts are locked up. I got some part time work at my old place that has been keeping me afloat. I need to find full time work for the next couple of years till I have access to the IRAs.

Well I got offered a full time position today (whoo who) so I went up to HR to tell them and let them know that I would need to opt out of the health care benefits, I have those lifetime through my wifes retirement. Sorry, due to health care reform you cant opt out anymore. But if I take their healthcare for two years I lose my lifetime benefits from my wifes retirement.

ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

Thanks for listening, feel free to also vent, I promise to read them.

-Pete-

deleted_user 08/21/2010

Sorry for your loss, and sorry for your frustration. I wish I had some bright ideas, but I'm fresh out. The whole "health care reform" thing drives me nuts! It was health insurance reform, not health care reform, but Obama would not come out and say that.
Vent away... Make us proud!
Chris

pathoflife 08/21/2010

Pete,

I probably am not seeing the whole picture, but the lifetime benefits sound like a real deal unless the cost is prohibiting. After I retired, I have insurance through my university until 65; then I have to deal with the supplement nightmare not counting the prescription card (part D). Not fun but unavoidable.

I didn't realize that the insured could no longer opt out of an insurance program if they were going on another program. How does that work when people change jobs and go from one insurance to another, as they are opting out of one to go to another? I hope you can sort it out and come out on top of this insurance "stuff." It seems that it becomes more difficult as they try to simplify it for us. Blessings. TJ

Truhal 08/21/2010

That's terrible. You know, I think the clerk you spoke to has it wrong. The new laws are so new many have no idea what the rules are. I would check with someone else. Perhaps a letter stating you have health care coverage will do the trick. There are so many people who don't understand things when it comes to our special group.

Ex, My husband passed just as we were about to sign our lease. I asked for an extention and was told that I would have to sign for my husband too. I refused. He's deceased I said, but the girl looke completly perplexed as this had never come up before.

I'd definetly check this out before doing anything. Maybe find some information on the internet regarding the new laws.

renuzit2 08/21/2010

Check into the insurance information more do not ASSUME they are correct, it might be they are misinformed...
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you as you begin this journey, it is a long one with alot of twists and turns.. You will do great..

Joely 08/21/2010

Pete,

Don't take one person's opinion on this new ins. plan. As others have said, they probably do not know enough about it to be absolutely positive about this. There has to be a way around this when you have ins. from another place.

After Joe died I got the wrong info from someone in the office about my retirement ins. plan. After some research, I finally reached a person who knew exactly what I needed to do. So, yep, do more research on this subject before you lose your lifetime research.

Oh, and vent whenever you need. We're here.
Hugs, Joely

deleted_user 08/21/2010

The added frustration is really aggrivating.........I ran into the situation with life insurance ....which really complicated my finances.........check and double check and then just make the best decision you can................When Norm died from cardiac arrest, we also didn't have a will;however, since everything was in both our names, funds weren't locked up..........keep venting............we're here
L

deleted_user 08/21/2010

WOW, Pete. I'd be sitting down with both the HR person at the new job (congratulations on that; must be a big relief for you!) and also the people where you have health care through your wife. Something has to be worked out with that. I know we have people who've certified that they're covered under their spouses and they are permitted to opt out.

Vent any time. You know that we all understand.

Hugs, Gail

deleted_user 08/21/2010

When I first started reading your post...IRA. Irish Republican Army...then I read on and found it was something financial. Sorry...
I do not understand how a lot of this is done. Health care is continued to be provided for me and the kids through the military. I heard something about people could be fined if they didn't have health care. What a strange country this is. I will now vent by saying I do not understand all this "hope and change". Vent away....we all need to vent. peace..Kaaren

deleted_user 08/21/2010

Is there any way you could have two insurance plans? What if you never told the retirement plan and used their insurance exclusively? I really see no reason why they have to know about each other.

Just a thought.

deleted_user 08/21/2010

Your venting is good! The issue you raised sounds a little familiar to me -- i am not entitled to widow's benefits because i am not 60 yet, but yet i don't qualify for anything else because i am not employed!!! It is really difficult sometimes not only to deal with the pain and hurt of losing your spouse, but add all bureaucracy on top of that is completely insane. Good luck to you and congratulations on your job!!!!!!!

songsofthenight 08/21/2010

the only thing I know about insurance is it's whose birthday comes first if you have 2 insurances...first birth date is billed first then 2nd insurance is billed for what is left over. like others have said I'd keep checking and hopefully you'll find someone who knows more than the first person....good luck, Sandi

MissinLilBear 08/23/2010

OK, I finally caught a break!

No, I cannot opt out of health care, it isnt specifically in the health care bill but HR is afraid of a bad interpretation and being hung out to dry so they made a blanket policy of no opt outs (and this is a state government job, so there is no negotiation!).

But after I got to the right person at my wifes company, it seems I can move my current benefits to secondary and as long as I keep up the payments then they will still be in effect when I need them after this job.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! He chortled in his joy

Thanks all, I really need to vent last week.

wannabebeachbum 08/23/2010

Yea! You caught a break and landed a new job! Congrats. Always good to be able to vent---even better to be able to celebrate now and then. Keep coming back for both!
CJ

pathoflife 08/23/2010

It sounds like it's going to work in your favor. Glad you found the answers needed. One less stress that you don't need.

Glad for you. TJ

deleted_user 08/23/2010

I'm so glad it worked out for you. Health insurance can really be a big worry with the cost of health care. I'm so glad you got to talk to the right person. I've learned to just keep calling and going up the line when it comes to HR in some companies. Had a lot of problems with DH's local HR when he became ill, but finally called the main company in another state to get correct answers. I'm so happy for you. Take care, Sandra

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