Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My wonderful husband Joe has been gone almost 2 years now. It has been an uphill battle all the way, but I have been amazed that I could make it to "wanting to live again". I have a few tears maybe once a week. I have been modifyling our home and getting rid of some equipment that I won't need anymore and everything was working out OK so far.
My son needed to buy a "new" truck. I went looking with him and I realized that he really doesn't have the budget to make a truck payment. I have Joe's truck that has so many memories. We took all our trips in that truck and all our fun times were in that truck. The SUV was for groceries, doctor appts, etc. So I decided that, although I had never wanted to let that truck go, I love my son more than life itself and I knew Joe would love for him to have it. Joe was my son's stepdad. So I offered the truck to my son. He was overwhelmed with gratitude but was concerned about my emotions about it. I said I was fine with it.
That night, as I turned into our long winding dirt driveway and came into view of Joe's truck, I BURST into tears telling myself I have to let go. After analyzing it, deep in my heart, I think I was holding onto the truck hoping Joe would come back. That's completely impossible, but my heart doesn't think rationally. I cried my heart out. The next day I said my good-bye for now to the truck (that I know I will ride in again with my son). I admitted in private, but out loud, that Joe will never be back to drive that truck and my son is ELATED to have it.
This was just a hump I had to get over. It's been 3 days and I am more at peace with my decision with each passing day. The truck looks so sharp with my son's "personalization" of it. New tags on front/back, NASCAR decals, etc. - things we all love in our family. I told my son, from this day forward we will not call this Joe's truck anymore. It is now Brian's truck. I am at peace with this now, but my initial shock was really unexpected. Our emotions have a life of their own.
My son needed to buy a "new" truck. I went looking with him and I realized that he really doesn't have the budget to make a truck payment. I have Joe's truck that has so many memories. We took all our trips in that truck and all our fun times were in that truck. The SUV was for groceries, doctor appts, etc. So I decided that, although I had never wanted to let that truck go, I love my son more than life itself and I knew Joe would love for him to have it. Joe was my son's stepdad. So I offered the truck to my son. He was overwhelmed with gratitude but was concerned about my emotions about it. I said I was fine with it.
That night, as I turned into our long winding dirt driveway and came into view of Joe's truck, I BURST into tears telling myself I have to let go. After analyzing it, deep in my heart, I think I was holding onto the truck hoping Joe would come back. That's completely impossible, but my heart doesn't think rationally. I cried my heart out. The next day I said my good-bye for now to the truck (that I know I will ride in again with my son). I admitted in private, but out loud, that Joe will never be back to drive that truck and my son is ELATED to have it.
This was just a hump I had to get over. It's been 3 days and I am more at peace with my decision with each passing day. The truck looks so sharp with my son's "personalization" of it. New tags on front/back, NASCAR decals, etc. - things we all love in our family. I told my son, from this day forward we will not call this Joe's truck anymore. It is now Brian's truck. I am at peace with this now, but my initial shock was really unexpected. Our emotions have a life of their own.
deleted_user
This is such an interesting topic to me. My husband died not even 4 weeks ago. My car started acting up at the funeral home! So it's parked in the garage and I'm driving my husband's truck. I'm hoping to sell it after my car gets fixed, but I have mixed emotions also. First off, it's newer than my car. Secondly, I feel really safe driving it. And also has anyone noticed how many of our husbands had trucks? Men and their trucks.
deleted_user
funny how we attach "things" to our missing loved ones. I know nothing could replace my husband but i am going thru the same thing now with his snow blower. i moved into a small house, little driveway from a house on 2 acres with a long driveway. i really dont need the snowblower and my brother in law keeps asking for it. he has a bad back and a long driveway but i cant give it to him. i know i wont use it and i know my husband would want him to have it but it almost feels like i'm giving away a piece of him.
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