Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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BURNED INTO MY MIND

nvcowboy2
nvcowboy2

in 1996 the image of watching them zipping up the bag my dad was in when they called the time of death  is burned into my mind.


in 2001 watching as my mom took her last breath and how we tried to revive her with C.P.R. is brings ba burned into my mind.


April 26, 2018- my wife died in my arms at home... This Image keeps coming back when I think of my loss.


Oddly enough, as the event unfolds in my mind, it's as though I am above-watching the whole scene. It brings back all those prior images.


I find it very hard to carry on, but I know that I must. I've spent a good deal of time with a very special friend, and I have to say, without the late night conversations and being allowed to just cry and not be judged, has to be about the only reason I do carry on right now.


These images seem to trigger a PTSD in me, for which I am in therapy. Thank you to all my D.S. friends for all your kind words.


I know that the Images are imprinted in my mind forever. Something I don't want, and not sure what might help to suppress those horrifying events. SOmeone is bound to ask how did she die?...that's a BIG trigger, buty sometimes I think about how I miss her and then....Bang! another trigger, Not sure how to live with this.

Whitedoves
Whitedoves
Awww I just want to hug you. Im sorry for all of your losses. I wish i had the answers or the words to comfort you but i dont . I too suffer from PTSD. Ive suffered through many different traumatic situations. I fully understand PTSD. I struggle with it myseld. Hopefully others will chime in and offer advice.
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
I'm sorry for your loss. I can understand how you feel. My high school sweetheart and husband of 40 years died at home with hospice. I was lost and terrified having never lived alone. Over the next 5 years I learned independence. I met a man who loved me and we spent the next 6 years together. Last November I Woke up to find he had died during the night. I will never forget seeing my husband in that hospital bed. I will never forget seeing my 2nd love unresponsive next to me.
What we can do is force ourselves to remember the good times. Remember how blessed we are to find true love. Keep the memories alive and focus on the wonderful years we had. Some are not so blessed.
Veronica77
Veronica77
Not too sure if this helps but I picture Mike enjoying himself as he did here. I see him enjoying nature and going fishing. He also built bird houses and left out bird seed and attracted a variety of beautiful birds. I try not to think about his last moments or being at the cemetery. He has gone on to something new. ((Hugs))
MJ46
MJ46
I know about images. I have an image of driving down an icy rural road and seeing emergency personel on top of my wifes car upside down in a water filled ditch. Watching them winch the car out of the water and seeing her body on a stretcher as they put her in an ambulance. Standing by the side of the road calling my children. Having to drive by that spot every day to get to work. But, pain really lessens with time. It's been 5 years. My advice is go through the motions of living, talk to people who have had a loss and understand what is happening to you, grief groups were good for me. We don't know when it happens or what changes take place in our brains, but you will get better, just not fast enough to avoid lots of pain on the way. That's normal.
roxanne809
roxanne809
My heart goes out to you each time I read something that you have posted. I know, too well, the pain that you are suffering; and I also know that it is part of the process that you have to endure as time moves on. There is no quick fix; it just takes time - lots and lots of time. Things will get better for you, I promise. I am so glad for you that you have a special person who can listen and understand to help with the gut-wrenching sadness. We all understand here, too, so keep posting. Hugs to you. Roxanne
lmj90
lmj90
I too understand PTSD. I lost my dad to suicide several years ago, My step father to lung cancer 12 years ago and my husband/soulmate and best friend in 2014. The images are painful and they come back often. Im not sure I have advice that will help but what I have found that works is just making sure you feel each emotion as it comes. By the second, by the minute, by the hour, by the day. What ever it takes. Grief can be a million different emotions in a short amount of time. Hugs to you
Lisa
mypenny2
mypenny2
It's hard to get those images out of our minds....I can't watch programs on TV with those kind of scenes..I have been in your shoes...I look at pictures of better times..It helps....Sorry you struggles with this and on top of that PTSD.....This may sound weird but I heard if you click your tongue it can pause your mind...I do that when I start to feel anxious...I hope you can find peace...Hugs
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