Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Not even the anti deppresant that my therapist prescribed can take the pain away.this godawful pain thats coming from so deep that only death can cure it.
I used to have faith in god but no more i am done.a just god should have taken us both at the same time
I have no purpose anymore,just take me already
It's still one of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten.
After my second divorce in 06, I had had it, I just started screaming one day to god, blaming him, and accusing him, of purposely causing me hurt, strife, abuse etc.. Then finally a year later, I got down on my hands and knees told god, Id give him everything, and everything if only he brought me my true love.. didnt care if he was fat, ugly, rich, poor, just want him to love me, for me, not for my looks, for anything but for my soul. I stayed single and abstinent for 6 long years, until one day, this kind gentleman named sean was brought to me by god. Everyone who knew me, knew Id never remarry. I remember telling a friend, that if he didnt drink coffee then I would know god brought me him, specially for me, and to love me for me. Lo and behold he hated coffee but loved hot chocolate like me.. We talked for 4 months online ffrom october 2012, until we met feb 16th of 2013, within 3 1/2 hours I told him things that I wouldnt even tell my dad, hurts, wants, etc... one month later, he told me he had fallen in love, me I was much more suspicious, so I cried out to god, that if this was my soulmate, please reopen my heart to love again.. 2 months later (april 2013), my heart opened and I fell madly in love with him. The memorial day weekend he proposed, I said yes, we bought a house, and were married in july. All was just marvelous, I had met my bestfried/soulmate/lover/husband all in one. Then on that tragic day in 2015 he died, while working on his truck, on our property. I was inside, recovering from being the hospital from double pneumonia. I went outside to see when he was coming in, and me and my neighbor found him. The worst day of my life.. I of all people couldve blamed god, for all of it. But I knew in my heart that go would never have done that to me. Sean made the choice to go under that truck, but it really wasnt his fault either, he was doing something great for our family, trying to fix that truck. So there really was no one to blame.. but I do know this, everything happens for a reason, we may not like, know or understand it, but it happens regardless. Unfortunately we will all die, some sooner rather than later, like my husband. There is no blame to be handed down to anyone/anything. Things just sometimes happen, and its out of our control. I for one totally understand how you could be angry at god. Be angry, yell, scream, ask him why... at some point in time, you will feel or get your answers. My husband always said he wanted to die without suffering, and doing something he really enjoyed. He enjoyed his truck and tinkering with it, and it was what we rode around in while dating/married etc... it was special to us both. They say he didnt suffer, and I surely believe that. They say, when your in the worst pain about to die, that you don't feel that pain, that its as if your physical pain is no more.. I hope to believe that. Someday, i will meet him in heaven and ask him a bunch of questions. But for now, I think he's knows, I still love and miss him more than anything....Much love and big hugs carla.. Im so sorry if I offended anyone. My beliefs are not intended more interpreted to be what everyone else feels or should feel, just my feelings.