Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members

19,465 Posts

0 Online

Kimberlina 09/14/2017

Today is my birthday and everyone wants to celebrate and make it a happy one. All I can do is cry. I did not get that birthday hug from my husband this morning and I am just feeling totally alone today. Weird how you can feel alone in a room full of people trying to make your day special. I know all the first are hard and Jim used to tell me I was the start of all the birthdays in our family. I just want today to be over already. The tear reserve tank has been replenished during the last few week and today they are flowing freely.

vwidow 09/14/2017

Kimberlina, I'll just say "Sad Birthday!" to you and hopefully that will suffice. No, but I hope you get through it Ok. Mine was 3 mos. after Walter died so I'm done this year. However today is the day he had his talus bone removed (and screws from foot reconstruction) due to infection and it was the start of the end.
My recent post--I hope it makes you feel a little better. Love, Anita

raininseattle 09/14/2017

Sorry that you're feeling this way Kim.

staygolden3 09/14/2017

Then cry kim.....let it out and let the tears flow! It's your day however you wish to live it. People mean well but they just don't understand the magnitude of this loss. Lay down in your bed and imagine that sweet hug from your man the way it used to be....talk to him and know that he is still with you. You're memories are golden!
You're in my thoughts today as you navigate through yet another "first"....
Warmest wishes to you, tomorrow is another day to try again.....
Darcie

Darcie

Lielie 09/15/2017

Kim, my wedding anniversary is 30 Sept, Robert's birthday 26 Oct, mine 10 Nov, all firsts as it only 6 months. I am scared........ We never made a big deal of bdays, and through his deployments we missed quite a few together, but he phoned then. I am scared, because he will not phone, I can't phone, we can't spend the day together. I know this is a day late, but I hope that your day towards the end was bareable. Hugs and strength

Cavewifelost 09/18/2017

Kim, I think at this time it's often harder to be with people than without them. It does make you feel even more alone because you're more conscious of your love's absence. I know that's how it is for me. It's an adjustment. I'm going out to dinner tonight with three girlfriends and I'm looking really forward to it, partly because their husbands won't be there, so I can miss mine less. My hubby's birthday is October 6, so that will be my "first". This is a challenging time for all of us and all we can do is keep going as we put all of our firsts behind us. Not looking forward to any of them. Take care of yourself and I hope that your birthday turned out okay for you. <3 Anita

pahatfi 09/18/2017

my daughter and I shared carl's favorite dinner for his first birthday. it was hard but we found things to do to help the time pass. hope you are doing okay

Kimberlina 09/18/2017

Thank you for all your kind words. I am doing much better now. All the first are emotionally difficult.

Join the Conversation