ok so the cemetary bill was reasonable, out funeral costs just seem way out of line

Unfortunately there are those that are in the "business" of death. Sorry to say. We W/W's (or grieving family) are vulnerable and easy prey for those that don't have a conscience, and are only in it for the money. I don't know your exact circumstance, but I think this strikes a cord for many of us here. So sorry you had to put the funeral payments in the mail. I'll sigh with you. At least they are paid. One step along this journey that needed to be done . . and you got 'er done. As the old wise one's have said "no sense crying over spilled milk". Let it go . . and try to move forward now. Baby steps and pat on the back to you. Hugs, D

yeah, I get they are in business, but it just feels like price gouging - could it really be that expense??? I have to say the funeral home that my family uses does not upsell, so I don't feel I was taken advantage of - which is probably why they have been in business for so many years with generations of the same families use them, but it just seems so much more expensive than reason dictates and I know the prices are basically the same in any one geographic area.

Hi again Maryel,
One thing is for sure there will always be a business for death.
Even an inexpensive funeral is still expensive.
Simple is always better, these days weddings are over the top and Funerals have become the same.
Thankfully, Ben wanted simple as simple could be....I want the same.
Hugs again....Sandra

Take it all a day at a time, one step in front of the other. Do what has to get done... It is not easy that is for sure... Sending you mega hugs.
Be strong.

I spent $3800 on my husbands funeral, it was beautiful. I bought the casket from a out of business casket sales, they had them stored in a warehouse. this $1600 dollar one I got for $400. Spray was $200, 4 dozen red roses I bought the stone a few months later. double... I feel like I did really good. I spent $7900 on my dads 2 years before. My dads wasn't as nice as my husbands, It makes a difference which funeral home takes care of you also...

Ray wanted simple CREMATION...At the hospital the counciler gave me places that cremated. The next day I called, the price went from $900 to $2700 with the $2700 place giving the remains back in a cardboard box. The $900 place gave a nice urn.

sounds like no one liveenses are in liine with what others have s here in the very expensive northeast - I know that my expenses are in line with what I know others have paid at the funeral home I used and at other homes other people have used. This was a very simple affaris as well. Cremation wasn't an option for my husband because he has a brother who was severley bruned as a child over more than 50% of his body and spend over a year in the hospital. Due to that he did want to be cremated, just the thought of the process disturbed him. Guess, the irony of his most expenisve "vacation" being his last bothered me more than I realized - lol

The funeral home that did my husband's cremation called me after I filled out their survey form. He asked why they got so many "goods" and not "excellents"? When I said it was due to the high cost of the service, which I never expected, and was now a widow without any income, he quickly got off the phone.

Wanda wanted simple. Cremation with cardboard box. Her mom and I couldnt bear the thought of her in that box, so we chose a cremation coffin for $1,400 more. I regret that decision, as only 5 people went to view her. Myself and my family. Her family wanted to remember her, as she was.

So, I have made my own plans for my cremation. I already bought the adjacent plot next to hers, the urn, and everything, except the actual cremation. My daughter knows where the documents are and what to do with them, after I go. I stressed very hard, DO NOT LET THEM SELL YOU A BUNCH OF SHIT!

Well, it's a little late now to be educated on sudden funeral, cremation, etc. arrangements. I totally feel taken advantage of now! I had one of J's golf buddies do the cremation (as this is his family business). My bill was a whopping $5G for remains in a box with a velvet bag. For some reason I thought I was getting a price break . . not that I researched pricing. But one would think that using a "friend" there would be some benefit. After reading all of the above posts on what others paid, I'm feeling totally taken advantage of. BTW, haven't heard from this so-called friend of J's since the wake. He didn't even deliver the ashes, had a underling (impersonal stranger to me) deliver. WTF? Some people! GRRR

D,

My bill was 2K and I bitched about that. Lesson! Friends will screw you as quick as the next crook down the street. The funeral business to me has a worse reputation than car dealers and bankers. to be a successful car dealer most have larceny in their hearts and as far as bankers my brother is one and I would not trust him for much of anything. I love my brother but he has no ethics and screws people on an equal basis.

So much for my rant on people taking advantage of others at difficult times.

The way I see it from my point of view.

Dewman

Ben's cost me about four thousand....he was cremated, I did not purchase a "cremation casket" because that would have been such a waste. I picked out a very plain hardwood box that he would have liked as he loved wood. That also included the funeral home directing the service/parking at the church.
I did not have flowers and requested no flowers in his death notice....I just placed a single red rose on the table in the church. I did not place pictures or have one of those marqee things running either. Just a simple service that was lovely. My brother and his best friend spoke as well as our Pastor.

Im going to reply to this one, at my own peril, just because it hits a raw nerve again. First off I suspect to this point in the replies so far, I have a suspicion that I spent enough on Dianes Funeral and Headstone to probably pay for all of yours combined. Why did I do that? Because with no children an having worked all our lives and made X number of dollars and the fact that she went first, the decision was mine and mine alone. The funeral itself was quite simple, just family and our very closest friends (as she requested). The casket and the headstone, by far, is where the bulk of the cost was. And NO, nobody sold me a bunch of shit. Nobody ever does. I buy what I want, nobody SELLS me anything. She would never have done it for herself. It was the last (present?) or thing I was ever going to buy her and she deserved every penny I spent on it and more. We both decided against cremation because our OWN personal feelings were that that was to final, plus being able to visit the grave site (cemetery) and remembered them as we last saw them was what we wanted.
If some of you feel you got screwed then I suspect you did not do your homework regarding cremation or casket, cemetery. Yes I know you were grieving, so was I.
We made all of our funeral arrangements (less the choice of casket and headstone) years ago, but we knew the general costs of everything involved. If I would have went first whatever she would have chosen would have been her decision and hers alone.

It`s the last thing we will ever do for them.

George

" It`s the last thing we will ever do for them"



Yes, that is usually the line they use......sigh. I think we all did what we thought was right for our spouses and what we could afford. I know I can sleep at night and he won't come back and smack my fanny (just kidding) for spending a small fortune when he was already gone.