so sorry you have to deal with extra stress from ignorant people who should be supportive at a time like that. do whatever you have to do take care of yourself and your son. they have no understanding or compassion whatsoever. your son probably needs to see a therapist to process all he's dealing with. that can be a very dangerous situation that you're describing. Please talk to him about it. See webmd.com for info about grief and depression. Please don't just assume time will pass and things will be ok. Especially how the in-laws are acting is terrible.

Good for you for not inviting them as they're not at all supportive at this difficult time. My monster-in-law hasn't spoken to me since it happened, well she never liked me anyway. Oh well she's missing out on being with her grandson. My SIL was there when it happened and "cared" now it's poof she's been gone for like 6 months, she's missing out too!

Your son sounds like an awesome young man! Take care of each other like you've been doing. I have a 21 year old who wasn't supportive when my DH passed; he didn't like him but I thought at least he'd be there for his baby brother and I. That's a wonderful idea for your husband's ashes. I sprinkled some of my husband's around a tree at our local library since that's where we first met <3

Thank you for your support! My son did see someone this winter but that was before the last two losses. He now has an appointment with a trauma specialist, I pray they fit. He knows he is extremely depressed and is ready to get help. I am so sorry you are also dealing with problems from the inlaws, that does not help matters. All we can do is take care of our children and ourselves, but it is hard to hear negative when all you have the strength for is to try and get through. Hang in there and so sorry for your losses and battles.

Hey M.....just wanted to send strength and courage your way today and in the trying times to still come. Spend reflective time today with your son in remembering all the good times had by he and his dad and by you and your sweet husband. No room for negatives today. Bask in the love that you all shared.
My thoughts are with you and your boy. Prayers coming his way as well for help in dealing with his losses.
Hugs and love,
Darcie

First let me say, I am so sorry for your loss. But I am concerned about your son. It sounds as if he might be depressed since he doesn't want to do anything or see anyone when he comes home after work. I would certainly be depressed if all of that had happened to me. He could also be feeling guilty because he has been spared after losing his Dad and so many of his friends. Does he have any other friends? Maybe you could have them to just come over and see how he is doing. Seven months may not be long enough for his grieving process. If he is getting up and going to work everyday, then he is doing pretty good. He has a heavy responsibility on him now, since his Dad is deceased and perhaps he is just not ready to try and tackle that job. I would ask my in laws to be a little more sensitive to your son's feelings and give him time to heal. I would sit down and talk to him and ask him if he feels like he needs help to deal with his losses. Remind him we all need help sometimes. If your husbands ashes are in your yard, let them have their own memorial for their son. Just calmly tell them you and your son wanted a private service for just you two. Hopefully, they will understand. They are probably having a hard time with their feelings also and not able to put in words how they feel. But please talk with your son, there are too many young people committing suicide over less that what he has been through.

Dear M.... Your in-laws sound like toxic people. You can not fix them and you can not please them. Leave them to their own devices. Ignore them. Do not waste time in consideration of them, they have no consideration for you. You do not need or deserve this stress. Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself and your son. Focus on what is most important, you and your son. I pray that you find strength through this and that time will bring healing to your family.

No sane person should tell another how to feel... that's my honest opinion. This should be a day to be cherished and remembered. You and your son's well-being should take precedence over political correctness. God bless.

You and your son, are in my thoughts today....I know it will be hard for you both....however, I know in time, it will be another baby step towards healing your broken heart.
You have made a righteous decision, to protect you and your son, from stupid, idle comments from people who don't have a clue, what you are going through.
Love and big hugs for you. Blessings to both of you......Sandra

It's a shame that family can sometimes be worse than enemies. Can't figure that out. Anyway do what is best for you and your son. Your son seems like a very strong young man to me. That is a lot for anyone to take in. Just keep supporting each other.
Peace, Tim

Thank you all for your support! We did have a nice burial at the cemetery with just my son, his girlfriend and myself. Thank you all for your concern for Erik. I did speak with him a few days ago and told him as long as he is going to work I think he is accomplishing considering his depressed state. That to get help was more important then the rest. His friends are concerned because he won't see them much or return their calls. As he explained it to me....they are all partying a lot to hide their pain and he knows alcohol is not the answer for him right now, so he just does not want to go there. In my mind...Whoa! How did I raise such a smart guy! He does have a girlfriend who is his constant companion and is wonderful to just be home quietly with him after work. Thanks to this sight, earlier on I was able to come to terms with tryng to just let my son be and not expect to much from him and that helped us both tremendously. Thank you. He is seeking professional help for his depression, I am so proud of him for that.