Kimberlina- all I can say is I feel your pain. My husband and I always split the duties, I dealt with the inside of the house he dealt with everything else. It has been almost four weeks since he passed. My grass is overgrown, my sprinklers have a life of their own and I don't even know how to turn on the timer for the pool. I spent most of yesterday on the phone calling up former gardeners and pool people trying to get help. My husband recently retired so he was doing it all himself . They all remembered him so now I had to explain he has died and I was lost and needed help. Even cancelling his cell phone line was a chore. My son was with me most of the day and told me he was tired of having to hear me explain my husbands death to everyone. It is just another chore you have to take on. Everyone was nice and I just hope everything goes well. I too am dreading the hospitals bills. I have already received a bill for the ambulance for $1,200 that I was told is not covered by insurance and we only live 4 miles from the hospital. He had no life insurance so I am paying everything little by little with savings, the creditors will just have to wait. I have no friends close or family so all my support is by the phone. Sometimes I wish I had an actual person besides my kids. I ran into a co worker yesterday, I try not to leave the house to avoid running into people and having to repeat my story a million times. She asked me when I was returning to work and I said Monday ( i have been out 6 weeks). She said that was too soon, "isn't this like a vacation for you"? I was so shocked, packing up my husbands life in boxes is not what I consider a vacation. I went home and wondered if this is what I am going to have to deal with when I get back to work? But go back to work I must, this is my only income right now and I have three kids. I also need to get back to my new "normal life". and for us new widows that entails dreading bills and calling up repair men. I suggest you use the internet to your advantage. I look up everyone on yelp and angieslist. Check their reviews, if you have doubts move on. The way I see it is if you were able to find this site then that means your are a intelligent, resourceful person. You knew you needed support and you found it, you can do that for the rest of the issues that can come up also.

Hello Kimberlina., fellow sufferer of 2 mos. now. Sorry you are having so many burdens. It must be hard with 3 children. They can be a distraction in your grief but join you in it as well. The responsibilities are great. I hope a family member(s) or someone other than contractors or coworkers can step in to help you and your kids. I'll pray for you. Does anyone know why I can't post anything on here? I hit the red button for new post and nothing happens...?

I wish my kids lived at home they both live far away. So really no distractions just me. The burdens just seem to come in massive waves. I know tomorrow will be a better day and this to shall pass. Praying continually.

Sorry, Kimberlina. Yes, it is avmom who has the 3 children at home..

Hi Kimberlina. Yes, it is nice to have this place...............I feel like this is the one place that I can be "real" about widowhood. Like you, I am learning how to deal with stuff around the house that my husband used take care of. TIP: YouTube is a widow's best friend for showing you how to do some of the things yourself!

Sylvia

I am at 11 months - today. My favorite horrible thing was when the town historical society sent a fundraising letter nineteen days after he died. The envelope was addressed to us both, but some brilliant someone crossed his name off the envelope. It would have been fine if they had left it. People are horrible. And don't understand.

One tip - as your husband is dead, you are not responsible for his bills. His estate is. If there is nothing in his estate, then the bills don't get paid.

I have spent the year packing up our family home (where we raised our children), closing accounts and businesses and moving. While I find that I like the freedom of living alone and not having to rush home to care for a child, a dog or my husband, I am still missing him terribly. Every minute of every day. Luckily, I arranged all the maintenance and paid all the bills, so that was easy for me.