its been 24 days since i lost my husband, his parents, this little brother that was 17, and a close friend in an accident on there way home from vacation to florida. my son was the only survior. they was 2 hrs away from making it home. they was suppose to make it home around 3am. i woke up the day to an empty bed. no missed calls and my 6yr old son wasnt home either. i look outside for my husbands van and it wasnt there. then i seen two cop cars pull up. i knew it was for me. no one was anwsering there phones and i tracked my husbands phone there facebook and it showed he hadnt move since i went to bed. all the cops could tell me was my husband was dead and my son was in the icu three states away. he had to be air lifted to a hosptial in tennesse. that day plays over and over in my head. took me three hrs to find out about the rest of my family. if it wasnt for the officer that delivered the bad news i wouldnt of made it to my son. he helped me get to tenneese and helped us get home as well. in the 8yrs ive been with my husband ive spent 2 nights away from him. so our vacation was very hard for me to be away from him and my son thats only been away from me for one night ever. we even worked together for almost four years. thats how we met. we just started working together again in may. i just cant get passed the idea that hes gone. i havent been back to work since the accident due to my sons injuries. i spent the whole time while they was in flordia takening care of my dad. ive been taken care of my dad since my mother passed in 2015. ive seen him just everyday since she passed. he passed a few days after the accident. he had cancer and been wanting to die since my mother passed. within a week i lost everyone i talk to everyday. my emergency contacts. i cant sleep, i hardly can eat. ive already lost about 15lbs. i have axienty attacks everyday. my stomach hurts so bad and feel so sick all the time. if it wasnt for my son i wouldnt even bother getting off my couch. i been to my docs and got no where. ive always had stomach issues for the last 4yrs. only thing they can come up with now is i have precancerous cells on my cervic. i cant go back to the docs or my son till i get my insurance card in th mail. my husband paid for it out of his check. they canceled it and didnt switch it like they was suppose to. my son already missed a week of school cause he needs to be fitted for a walker i cant get til i have an insurance card. every time i think i got everything done that needs to be done more pops up. idk if i can do this on my own. sure i have my husbands family saying they would help me but only for there personal gain. with the lawsuit and most of them being on drugs im staying away from them. my son screams and cries alot. he understands there gone. he remembers seeing them all dead. hes atleast stop having nightmares. hes so scared of the dark now since the accident. im lucky to still have him. im lucky he wasnt hurt worse then what he was. there was oxygen tanks in the van. if he wasnt asleep he wouldnt of made it. that semi hit them so hard killed everyone on impact and the back of the van was smashed all the way to the driver seat. my son was in the very back of the van on that side. idk how im going to be able to return to work. my in laws always watch him while we worked. i dont really have anyone i trust that can help me. he can be a handful. i cant quit my job cause we wont have anywhere to go or afford to take care of my son. idk what to do. im doing my best but all my son does is yell, scream and cry at me all day. if i could i would give up and start drirnking