Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
When I lost my husband I lost our friends. I've notice from reading other post that I'm not alone. It's like people don't want to be around us. Sure, at first there's all the support--friends calling, talking about getting together. But then it all stops and they just disappear. Family members too. Maybe it's the fear of becoming us one day. Maybe they just get tired of hearing our pain. Either way, many of us are alone and shocked that the so-called friends were really fair-weather friends.
Many of us come to DS, looking for understanding and support. I'm one of them. My husband passed and less than two days later I was here. I came here looking for support, but I found something else. At first I didn't understand it. I'd read post, I'd see arguments, and sometimes that became the focus. I watched members leave because of the arguments here. And I thought, how sad. We're here to help, to give an understanding ear, not to aurgue.
As I said earlier, I came here for support and found something else. That something else is family. Here we are, people with different backgrounds, sensibilities, dreams, but we've all got something in common--the loss of the love of our lives. Now, families argue and they love each other. They support each other and they need support. In short, a family is one that is not afraid to show it's warts, but at the end of the day, they are there for each other. And they'll fight fiercely to protect one of their own. And sometimes, just sometimes, they'll even go as far as forgiveness for the unforgivable.
So, here we are--a family of the bereaved. For new members, expect anything and everything. Expect to have your feelings hurt, and your tears wiped. Expect to want to leave one day, yet stay the next. Expect to want to slam a glass against the floor one day, and lay on the floor curled in a ball the next. When you join DS Widows & Widowers your're joining a family. And like any family we don't always get along. Still, you won't find a more caring group. At the end of the day that's all that matters.
Tru
Many of us come to DS, looking for understanding and support. I'm one of them. My husband passed and less than two days later I was here. I came here looking for support, but I found something else. At first I didn't understand it. I'd read post, I'd see arguments, and sometimes that became the focus. I watched members leave because of the arguments here. And I thought, how sad. We're here to help, to give an understanding ear, not to aurgue.
As I said earlier, I came here for support and found something else. That something else is family. Here we are, people with different backgrounds, sensibilities, dreams, but we've all got something in common--the loss of the love of our lives. Now, families argue and they love each other. They support each other and they need support. In short, a family is one that is not afraid to show it's warts, but at the end of the day, they are there for each other. And they'll fight fiercely to protect one of their own. And sometimes, just sometimes, they'll even go as far as forgiveness for the unforgivable.
So, here we are--a family of the bereaved. For new members, expect anything and everything. Expect to have your feelings hurt, and your tears wiped. Expect to want to leave one day, yet stay the next. Expect to want to slam a glass against the floor one day, and lay on the floor curled in a ball the next. When you join DS Widows & Widowers your're joining a family. And like any family we don't always get along. Still, you won't find a more caring group. At the end of the day that's all that matters.
Tru
When I talk about my true feelings with family and friends, they are shocked and really uncomfortable. So, I say what I really feel here and tell them, "Fine" when they ask, "So, how are you?"
For example, I mentioned that I do not read anymore even though I have been an avid reader since first grade. Why? Because I do not care about learning anything or even being entertained since I no longer have my precious wife to share these experiences with me. This does not compute with them but it's how I feel.
Love and Hugs, Sallie