I am nearing 11 months since my husband passed away. Time moves quickly, whether we want it to, or not. To the ones who are new to this site, I want to encourage you and to tell you that you are on my heart each day and I pray that you will be strengthened, that you will be comforted and above all that you will have peace. Grieving is a process we all have to go through and I tried to rush it. I was tired of crying, feeling profoundly sad and so, I started redoing my bedrooms, moving heavy furniture and doing things that a 74 year old shouldn't do. Anything that would distract from the aching of my broken heart. The day after Thanksgiving at my Daughter and son-in law, I drove myself to the emergency room and was diagnosed as having a mini heart attack. I was in the hospital four days and during that time I prayed for wisdom and patience to accept that this is a process and there is no getting around it. I can tell you that where I am today, I never thought I would feel so much peace. I miss him, I cry, but not as much. My memories of our life together brings more smiles than seeing him leave me, passing away in our bed on a Saturday morning. We were together for 36 years. We were divorced when we met and he was my second chance at happiness. Not only was he a loving husband but, he was DAD to my children. He loved his yard. It was his "baby." He kept it looking beautiful. I never did anything in the yard. Indoor plants were my thing. I have spent the last two weeks buying flowers, mulch and all things outdoor gardening. It has drawn me even closer to him because I know how much he loved doing, and surprisingly I love it. It is like therapy. I am doing container plants and when I look at the plants and the manicured lawn, I know he is pleased.
Please forgive me for going on and on. I just want the newbies to know that it will get better. You will get through this as you have through other challenges. And even though this is the hardest of all, you're stronger than you think you are. God bless us all.