Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Two years, one month out, I find myself very intolerant of anyone else's feelings. I feel as though I've had enough of everyone else in my life. I've spent two years taking care of our children and grandchildren and their grief. I've dealt with our oldest daughters drug addiction on my own. I now have to raise her daughters because she chose to use drugs over taking care of them. I want my husband back. He would never have allowed me to go through this hell. I want my old life back. We went through these challenges together.
Hugs - Doye
Cindy
I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, but perhaps the people who are facing the same problems might. There is a group here called "Grandparents Raising Children" and many are raising them for similar reasons. You might want to join that group, or at least read back through some of their posts for some insights. Here is a link to that board:
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Grandparents-Raising-Children/support-group
I have known several people who had to step in to care for their grand's, but it's not within my personal experience. I will never have any grandkids; my sons are disabled, and that dream died a long time ago. I know it's hard, and traumatic, and exhausting, but I hope the fact that you have the kids and they love you helps.
Wishing you strength, courage, and comfort...
Love and Hugs,
Martha
It is not negative to feel the way you feel. It is just dealing with
the reality and unfairness of the situation.
Many of us are facing and dealing with life's problems that we
never expected to have to confront alone. It is frustrating,
aggravating and agitating at times. I am even angry about it
at times. But I have no solutions as I rise each day to usually
face a new set of problems that I never thought I would have
to face by myself. It is so damn unfair.
One of the things that helps me a little is to think about what
it would be like for my wife if I had been the one to leave to
August 28, 2015. I try not to think about it often as I cringe
when thinking about her being alone and having to face most
of the same challenges each day while also trying to deal with
the horrible aspects of grief. While I miss her to a level I cannot describe, I would not have wanted her to have to face this
alone.
I truly regret you are having to carry such a burden to be added
to your grief with the loss of your husband. You are in my
thoughts.
Darrell
Your last sentence says it all. "We went thru these challenges together". If he were there with you, these things that are hurtting you would not be as intense because the stress would be shared.
My step-daughter is making the same unhealthy choces she had been for awhile. I thought loosing her mom would have shocked her into something better, not. Not even a phone call.
I always hate it when children are involved in adult stiuations, they are the true innocent ones. Please take care of you and those children. Anyone else, sink or swim.
Peace, Tim
I agree with everyone else. Your comments and feelings are not negative. They simply are what they are. I have not been at this long, but long enough to know some moments it all feels just a bit too much to handle. This is a perfect place to get it out with no judgment, just love, support and a whole lot of understanding.
Peace and love,
Kate
Not very negative, just very real. You have been stretched too thin, by yourself, for way too long. I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. I am truly sorry you are going through this. Is there any way that you can find a local grief support to go to? Or something that would allow you to express yourself and your grief?
Hugs,
Val